An Occasional Source of Truth.

Cultural irrelevance - definition

2011-11-26T10:17:00.001-06:00

Totally didn't know there was an NBA lockout until just now.

Matt Good - Winnipeg 2011 - Notes

2011-11-11T22:44:00.000-06:00

It's hard coming up with new things to say about a guy you've seen live seven times. Chances are, you know roughly how the show will go, you'll have a general idea of what songs you'll hear, etc and so forth.

But with Matt Good, he always seems to find a way to mix something familiar with something fresh, and (if you're a fan like me) you're never disappointed.

Some bands seem to tour simply for the sake of promoting new and (if i can be honest) mediocre material (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters come to mind). Others are faced with the likelihood that their longtime fans probably don't give a rip about how much they've "grown as artists" (Our Lady Peace to some extent), and as a result dwell on their back catalogue to sell tickets. Matthew Good, however, seems to have found a comfortable place amidst his sizable repertoire.

Matt Good has reached an interesting point in his musical career with the release of his latest album, Lights of Endangered Species. This marks his fifth full-length record as a solo artist, one more than his total with the Matthew Good Band. Ironically, Matt's efforts with his former band are still those for which he is more famously known.

It's gotten to the point where Matt Good doesn't really need to draw from his MGB material to fill up 90 minutes of stage time (not nearly long enough for hardcore fans, by the way). But it's nice to see he hasn't become jaded towards his past work either. And though Lights of Endangered Species is a record greatly worthy of live showcase, it doesn't feel as though you're being beaten over the head with it, as though some narcissistic bastard is trying way too hard to convince you it's the best thing they've ever done (looking your way Metallica).

To conclude, it's nice to see Matt Good is having fun again. He's had a rough couple of years in recent times, so it's refreshing to see he's back to his witty, sassy self. Great to see a guy entertaining for the sake of entertaining.

Matthew Good Setlist - Winnipeg 2011

2011-11-10T14:24:00.000-06:00

Main Set:

While We Were Hunting Rabbits
Lights of Endangered Species
The Boy Who Could Explode
Born Losers
What If I Can't See the Stars, Mildred?
Zero Orchestra
The Future is X-Rated
Load Me Up
Non Populus
Apparitions
Weapon
Shallow's Low

Encore Set:

Giant
Alert Status Red
Set Me on Fire

The Guess Who suck, The Jets were lousy anyway.

2011-10-09T20:49:00.001-05:00

Yep. Still true.

Absence.

2011-07-09T11:40:00.000-05:00

So I realize that my blogging activities have been serious sparse in this calendar year. I also realize that I'm probably picking one of the busiest months of the year to break the silence. But to everyone that's stuck with me, through thick and thin, good times and bad, peaks and valleys on this wonderful blogospheric journey....I owe you something.

For those looking to understand why the man who once wrote so prolifically, who once had so many things to say, who previously packed such a powerful punch in every perfectly punctuated point presented, has remained silent for agonizing months on end....I feel this might offer some explanation.

Yes, it's been a busy couple of months since getting married, and up to for that matter. And for that reason, I don't particularly regret the rarity of my updates on this thing. God has blessed me greatly in recent times, and although I do enjoy posting entries (and intend on doing so more often, perhaps after summer) I have been pleasantly occupied with other commitments for the time being.

In any case, I hope to post again soon, but realize that such intentions may require a bit more initiative than just typing them out.

New Movie Review - Sanctum

2011-02-26T20:32:00.000-06:00

Before the review, a little backstory.

For my regular (and probably only) readers, you probably all remember the cufuffle generated from what I had to say about Avatar and James Cameron a little over a year ago. For the record, I've since softened my stance on that particular movie.

That being said, I was skeptical going into this film. But it was due to an error on my part. Due to the fact that James Cameron seemed to be the most noteworthy name attached to this particular project, I mistakenly assumed that he was directing and probably co-writing the script. But it wasn't until the end credits of the movie that I realized I was wrong.

The only reason I mention all of this is because I was specifically on the lookout for a bad script, thinking that James Cameron had probably written it, and thereby would give me another reason to rant about what a terrible filmmaker I think he is (which is only somewhat true). But the truth is, I didn't find the script to be as bad as I expected. Sure, it was nothing special, but it was functional (much like how I've now come to view the script of Avatar). It was pretty cheeseball at times, but as far as something that moved the visual experience along, it was functional.

There isn't much to say about this film as far as reviews go. As far as writing/plot/cast goes, it's nothing special. As far as visual experience goes, it's definitely a "watch-it-once-in-theaters" sort of movie. One word of caution: it's probably one of the more gruesome movies I've watched in a while. If you have any sort of water-related fears, it definitely scores some thrill points in that respect.

Reviews of Sanctum have been generally unfavorable. They've basically been along the lines of "decent visuals, good use of Cameron's 3D technology, but bad characters/awful dialogue." Which (I think) you could say pretty accurately about Avatar. So my only confusion is why this movie has been marked as an overall failure, while Avatar was such a huge success. Please, please keep in mind I'm not trying to rip on Avatar here. I'm simply confused as to why these two films, with basically the same strong and weak points have been received so differently. If anyone has any ideas, I'd be interested to hear them.

Editor's note: saturation.

2011-02-20T17:56:00.000-06:00

I must admit, this blog is struggling. It's been really inconsistent for most of the past 14 months, aside from a brief stretch this past summer when I had a lot more free time than I would've liked, and as such, was able to post more regularly.

You might say that part of this run of inconsistency is due to busyness with work, although it's only been about a week and a half since I've had a daytime commitment to occupy a good chunk of my time. Hence why I can only attribute part of my blogging silence to keeping busy with work.

I think the more accurate reason as to why there hasn't been a lot coming in is because I just find myself too distracted. Not only with personal things, family things, future things, etc...I really think I've just been guilty of losing focus in an incredibly media-saturated culture. Note that I'm not blaming the media for anything. I still hold the remote control, and I can just as easily hit the power button, but, more often than not, choose to set another series to permanent record.

It's not often that I can do just one thing at a time. The fact that I'm typing this up without the TV on in the background is somewhat of an anomaly. Earlier today, I found myself listening to a podcast on my computer, while watching a hockey game on mute, while browsing the internet attempting to read another blog with not much more to say than this one.

As a media major, maybe I should be committing myself to extreme multi-tasking such as this. Maybe I should be looking to get caught up on another series that's been on the air for 5 years that I've never started watching until now. Maybe I should be looking for more podcasts to expand my knowledge about film, and philosophy, and so on. But the fact of the matter is, I'm starting to feel a bit drenched by this media-heavy culture of which I'm a willing participant.

The Season of Lent is approaching, and I've decided that for this year, I'm going to make a conscious effort to limit my media-related multi-tasking, stop using Wikipedia altogether, and try to free up some time to focus my thoughts on some more important things. A nice theoretical idea coming from a not-so-practical person.

NBC Special - The Facebook Obsession

2011-01-26T00:11:00.000-06:00

I'm really struggling as to whether this is even worth posting. It just seems silly.

I'll admit outright, I just happened to flip this on right this minute, a half-hour into the program, and have subsequently half-watched it while surfing on my laptop. (Do people still use that expression? Surfing the net?) So it would be unfair for me to say I've been involved in this special, or even seen enough of it to make an informed judgment as to what it's about.

Anyway, it's talking about how Facebook has been used to gain information from users, sell that information to companies, who subsequently advertise to people in specialized markets. And then there's the question of whether or not that constitutes a breach of privacy or whatever.

My question, is that something people really even have reason to be upset about? I mean, aside from the legalities covered in the terms of use page which everyone agrees to (albeit almost universally without reading), all information is provided voluntarily...........right? I mean, did Facebook ask anyone to post all those super unique pictures from that night at the club that I'm sure no one else has ever taken pictures at (thereby justifying the need to post like seventy photos that are almost all the exact same close-up, open-mouthed, squinty eyed, slightly blurry picture of like 4-6.5 people all holding bar beverages)?

Does Facebook require you to list The Catcher in the Rye as your favourite book, which may or may not put you on some CIA watch-list? (It probably doesn't, but the idea is kind of funny. I guess.)

I mean, all this is to say, Facebook only has as much information as you're willing to give it. Once you give it to them, it owns that information forever, but nonetheless, it is your choice to give Facebook any information about yourself. That's all I'm really saying. Maybe you should just stop "liking" everything, or stop posting status updates, or uploading photos. If you really have a problem with people seeing it. After all, it is the internet.

Note: a link to this blog page can be found on my Facebook profile.

Open for Debate: The Simpsons vs. Family Guy

2010-11-27T16:22:00.002-06:00

Though one of the most popular animated shows on television, Family Guy has not been without its critics, particularly in recent years. In the 2006 2-part episode "Cartoon Wars" aired by South Park, series creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker pointed to the writing style of Family Guy as being lazy, and ultimately not worthy of their respect.

When stating claims such as these, inevitably Family Guy falls into comparison with other animated series, ones that allegedly feature better writing, with jokes derived from the main plot, rather than predominant "gag-humour." A smarter show, for a smarter audience. The Simpsons is often cited as one such example.

However, as The Simpsons has been on television for 22 seasons and counting, many viewers have laid accusations of the show running itself dry of interesting plot lines, and remaining on the air well past its "best-before" date. Some maintain the show should have been cancelled ten years ago, and that it has resorted to mimicking other, more successful programs to keep itself afloat as a viable source of entertainment. Longtime fans may even notice instances of recycled jokes from more memorable years of The Simpsons. While one could argue that these may be a tribute to loyal viewers of seasons past, such moments may be more indicative of a series "jumping-the-shark," long, long ago, to use a media cliché.

Family Guy, on the other hand, seems to be as popular as ever. One might even make the claim that the show has gotten better with age. And though Family Guy is in only its ninth season of broadcast (a mark at which The Simpsons was still considered relevant and immensely entertaining), it does not appear to be slowing down.

Perhaps this is because Family Guy has never been a "smart show" by popular definition. Because it has always relied upon wild and fantastical plot narratives, and heavy use of cut-away gags, there seems to be no limit for what the show can do. Somehow, while progressively adding more and more depth to recurring characters and engaging in self-referential citation, Family Guy is still able to do a 'non-canonical' episode on occasion, where characters may find themselves victims of nuclear apocalypse, lost in their exploration of "The Multiverse", or prop-actors in Steven King spoofs. Basically, even though Family Guy has its familiar cast and setting, the show is still able to get away with doing something completely different for an episode.

Family Guy appears to be a show that is built for the long haul, one that probably will not run out of interesting storylines anywhere in the near future, for the specific reason that the universe in which the show finds itself is so massive. Because of its nonsensical and inconsistent nature, it seems to be in a better position to stay fresh and come up with new ideas. Conversely, The Simpsons, though once untouchable in its clever writing and plot-based wit, seems to have been running on fumes for more than a few years already. And admittedly, The Simpsons works with a more difficult premise and style of humour. No one will argue that it's not easy to be witty for 22 consecutive years. But, like a band that has long been touring on nothing but the memory of Hotel California, The Simpsons may soon have to seriously consider throwing in the towel, or risk becoming the airport-lounge equivalent of animated comedy.

Thus, the question: which is the smarter show? The one with more emphasis on wit and plot-derivation that appears to be gasping for air, or the one built for long-term enjoyment, with bizarre absurdities and cut-away gags; the one that looks to be picking up speed?

Editor's note: sorry for the delay.

2010-10-17T18:43:00.001-05:00

To all my dedicated fans out there:

I apologize for being so slow in updating this thing. I'm not going to lie and say I've been too busy for regular entries, because I really haven't been. But in the course of working full time and other personal stuff, I just haven't had the motivation to keep it regular. So to speak.

But fear not, I do have some ideas in development. That is to say, I've thought about some stuff. In my brain. But I think it might get the old conversation machine up and running again, or at least sputtering and leaking power steering fluid. Or something. I don't know machines. Good thing I work in a factory.

Later.

New Movie Review - The American

2010-09-15T20:53:00.001-05:00

It's weird. I thought this was one of the best movies I've seen in theaters in a long, long time. But a lot of people really didn't like it. And I suppose it's not for everyone.

One review I read said something along the lines of "Fans of The Expendables won't like this one." Well, I did like The Expendables and I still thought that this one was amazing. And, as I've come to think about a lot more lately, I think the reason I'm able to enjoy both of these very different films is due to an understanding of genre, audience, filmmaker's intention and all that.

An analogy. Consider that The Expendables and The American are two different pieces of art, like paintings or something. One might consider the former a more subtle, not overly eye-grabbing but still somehow captivating painting or portrait. Film as art. The latter is probably a crude stick figure drawing that's just as entertaining, but for altogether different reasons. In much the same way that you shouldn't look for a history lesson in a book of poetry, you probably shouldn't look for a 'balls-to-the-walls' action flick in a film that is really more of a portrait.

The American is a slow one. It plods along. There's not a lot of dialogue, a lot of silence, and the plot isn't given away all at once. In a sense, it teases you, makes you guess, makes you wait. From a cinematic perspective, it's fantastic. Lots of nice Italian scenery and such. There's lots of little details that resurface at later points in the film, hence the guesswork on the part of the viewer. But there's suspense. There's conflict, both internal and external, neither of which are altogether clear. And George Clooney is still good. If you want to be given all the information and not have to think, then you will not like this movie. Oh, and if you're made uncomfortable by extremely long, graphic sex scenes, maybe use that scene as a 'going to the bathroom' moment in your movie-going experience.

There's a lot that could be discussed thematically, such as ideas of forgiveness, one's self-created identity, and the inability the escape from the lives we build for ourselves. You could talk about the classic theme of business world vs love/pleasure world and how the two can never be kept completely separate. War of head vs. heart sorta thing.

Great film.

Open for Debate: Michael Moore

2010-09-08T17:57:00.000-05:00

Whether or not you agree or disagree, in part or in whole, with him, it remains that Michael Moore is an influential and well-heard voice in today's media. His latest release Capitalism: A Love Story, is described by Time magazine as Moore's "magnum opus."

Though this post is not dedicated to reviewing Capitalism, a few things should be said. The thesis of the film is the examination of the growing disparity between the rich and poor classes in America. In the style typical of Michael Moore, Capitalism offers viewers an entertaining and easily accessible synopsis through contemporary economic problems, most notably the implicit corruption within the community of major players in the capitalistic American marketplace. One example is the historical montage chronicling the evolution of the economy of the United States, done so satirically (and from the perspective of a 'good American capitalist), dubbing former President Jimmy Carter a real "Debbie Downer" and his successor, former President Ronald Reagan as a capitalist 'Saviour' of sorts.

Much like his earlier efforts, Capitalism features a number of Moore trademarks in its plot. As always, Moore raises important concerns and questions facing the United States of America, and does so in his characteristic, emotionally charged, sympathy-grabbing, clearly biased, asshole-ish fashion. His facts are still unbalanced and sweeping to some extent, and he (as per usual) makes a number of blanket statements. But the questions still seem valid.

At one point in the film, Moore asks Father Dick Preston, the Catholic priest who performed Moore's own marriage ceremony in 1990, "Is capitalism a sin?" To which the Father replies, "Yes." An interesting segment in the film.

In short, Capitalism: A Love Story is a radical call for change. One thing Moore does really well is framing his documentary films in a style resembling a traditional plot narrative; begins with setting, lays out the conflict, builds to a climax, and then ends with a hopeful resolution. Maybe that should clue you in to the strong subjective tone of the film, but nonetheless, it makes for an entertaining watch.

But this brings me to my open question to whoever has decided to read this thing all the way down: what do you think of Michael Moore? Should he be taken seriously to any extent? Or should he just be dismissed in much the same fashion as many would do for, say, FOX News? Should we stop viewing Moore as a source of truth, and merely as a source of entertainment?

All comments and opinions will be considered.

New Movie Review - Eat Pray Love

2010-09-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

Alright, I have a lot to say here, so I've included a concise review immediately below.

The Short Review: bullshit, bullshit, bullshit...

The Longer, Better Articulated, and Slighty More Understanding Review:

Ok, so I'll be the first to admit, I didn't go into this one with an open mind or a positive attitude. So, if anyone is in strong, strong disagreement with me, feel free to use that as an explanation (or grounds for dismissal).

Alright, so a few somewhat positive things. It's pretty, nice to look at, etc. Like the travel channel, or a cooking magazine. Second, it seems as though there's bits of truth in it, message-wise. However, it just seems as though time and time again, whatever little pieces of truth exist in this movie are either incomplete, not nuanced properly, misdirected, or in some cases simply mistaken (and as such, not truth at all).

Example: at one point in the film, the main character (Liz Gilbert, author of the memoir which inspired the film adaptation) reaches a point where she is vocally frustrated with the continual pestering of the women she meets on her journey, those who keep saying things along the lines of "you should find a husband," or "why aren't you married," etc.

And yes, to some extent, she's right in making the point that she doesn't NEED a husband. Not every person NEEDS to be married. The completion or objective value of one's life is not dependent on whether or not they are alone (by choice or otherwise). But here's the thing: Liz HAD a husband!!! And for really (what seemed like) no other reason than she just got bored, or felt stuck, or changed her mind, she didn't seem to have ANY good reason to leave him. In fact, I thought Liz's husband Steven was the best character in the movie, at least in terms of value and character. One who took seriously the gravity of his marital vows, who showed extraordinary character in not accepting even half the marital assets when faced with divorce. Giving up that to which he was legally entitled, just out of sheer principle or ideal. Hats off to you, good sir.

When asked later in the film about why she got divorced, Liz responds along the lines of "We were young when we got married and just grew apart. Nothing lasts forever."

Really? Nothing? So would you say that the truth of that statement will only be valid for a given period of time? Shit. I just love it when you get some Oprah-amped, recreational spiritual, independent woman, recent divorcee, and somehow, in one sentence such as "Nothing lasts forever," they seem to presume themselves to be smarter than thousands of years of human history. Yeah, sure...marriage is hard, and I'm sure people change over the course of that. But some things can be constant, right? I don't know. I'm speaking outside my firsthand experience on this one.

I'd like to think that if I had the money to run away for a year and indulge myself, I'd have a harder time finding things to complain about (as Ms. Gilbert did). But that's pretty optimistic I guess. I am still a mostly white North American. But that's all the film really is: running away. Seeking/finding in another world, looking someplace else, detaching, indulging. I'd like to see a film based on Gilbert's following memoir Committed in which she finds herself faced with some difficulties concerning Felipe's inability to immigrate to the United States. Nope, this one ends all peachy and devoid of the tough reality of decision making.

So, all in all, I give it this: pretty to look at, and feels good to find comfort in, but it just seems to ignore the tough realities that exist in life. Gluttonous by way of eating, shallow by way of praying, and minimalist in its portrayal of loving.

New Movie Review - Going the Distance

2010-09-07T00:16:00.001-05:00

It's a good thing that sex jokes are still funny. Otherwise this movie might not have a whole lot going for it.

Working Class Hero - John Lennon

2010-09-03T03:47:00.000-05:00

Taken from John Lennon's first post-Beatles work, Plastic Ono Band (1970).

I love it. So raw. So real. So unabashedly honest. So unlike the day-to-day interaction of which we find ourselves a part. So refreshing, in an angsty sort of way.

John Lennon is the balls.

An exercise in logic.

2010-08-26T20:00:00.000-05:00

First, browse this article.

It seems as though there are a few commonly-held assumptions regarding the free online encyclopedia, Wikipedia. Let's begin with those.

Assumption 1: Wikipedia is a generally unreliable source of true information, and as such should not be used as any sort of informational citation.

Assumption 2: Wikipedia favours consensus over credentials in its editorial process, thus making it a questionable source of reliable information.

These are fair criticisms. Any number of sources will make these claims. Including Wikipedia itself, as the above article will admit forthright. The above article (i.e. Wikipedia - from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) could lead to one making the case that although Wikipedia's information can often hold up to scrutiny, it should overall not be trusted at an academic level, based on the concerns and criticisms of academic experts.

So let's form a logical statement here, based upon what we know from reading (or browsing) the article in question: If Wikipedia is a truly unreliable source of true information, the above article should logically say "Wikipedia is a good and reliable source of true information," thus making an incorrect claim and verifying the unreliability of Wikipedia as a whole.

But this is not the case. The above article makes no such claims. Wikipedia itself offers much of the same scrutiny as those posed by its critics.

As such, it can be offered that Wikipedia can be deemed reliable if the article were to make the claim "Wikipedia is an unreliable source of true information." That is to say, Wikipedia could make itself reliable by offering the corrected statement "Wikipedia is an unreliable source of true information." Which it does, or least alludes to at points.

But if this is true, the above statement contradicts itself, as Wikipedia has just proven itself to be reliable (in the article offering that it is unreliable).

But if that statement (i.e. Wikipedia is unreliable) is true, then Wikipedia cannot be reliable, based on the truth of this claim.

Consensus over credentials. Truth based on the majority opinion, rather than the research of experts. These are the core criticisms of Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia.

Thus, we can only reasonably (and logically, so it would seem) conclude that sometimes, to some extent, Wikipedia can be a fairly reliable source of true information.

Which really doesn't say much of anything.

Best Films of All Time - Updated

2010-08-14T22:52:00.001-05:00

10. Vertigo (1958) directed by Alfred Hitchcock
9. Schindler's List (1993) directed by Steven Spielberg
8. Lawrence of Arabia (1962) directed by David Lean
7. Gone with the Wind (1939) directed by Victor Fleming, George Cukor (uncredited) and Sam Wood (uncredited)
6. Singin' in the Rain (1952) directed by Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen
5. Raging Bull (1980) directed by Martin Scorsese
4. Casablanca (1942) directed by Michael Curtiz
3. The Godfather(1972) directed by Francis Ford Coppola
2. Citizen Kane (1941) directed by Orson Welles

and finally...

1. The Expendables (2010) directed by Sylvester Stallone

...F yeah.

New Movie Review - The Other Guys

2010-08-11T02:09:00.000-05:00

In a word or two..........pure ridiculous.

But really, what can you expect? It's a Will Ferrel movie. It has its moments, it earns some cheap laughs, and there's the usual bucket of quotable moments that are sure to be the subject of numerous frat-house conversations and Facebook quote wars and.....

You get the picture. Not a bad movie, not a whole lot different. There's a couple new faces in this one, such as the solid performances by Mark Wahlberg and Michael Keaton, and some pretty hilarious, if still ridiculous cameos by Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson (having apparently shed his "The Rock" alias). However, one notable moment stands out in The Other Guys. Without spilling too many details, here's an illustration.

Have you ever heard a joke, one of those jokes where there's a really, really long lead-up before you get to the punchline, but once you get there, it's entirely worth it? Where all the preamble is pretty forgettable and interchangeable with any number of other things, but then the punchline comes and all of a sudden, the whole joke is redeemed? Well, if you're like me, and you're a little less than enamoured with the beauty of capitalism, you'll be happy you sat through this one. It's a pretty solid punchline.

If you're looking for a huge waste of time...

2010-08-03T17:17:00.000-05:00

A couple years ago, I was first introduced to this weird little internet community. If you're familiar with The Legend of Zelda video game series at all (as I am, albeit only somewhat) you may find this a tad interesting.

As there have been over a dozen Zelda games released since the original in 1986, the subject of much internet debate has been determining how the series can fit together in one sort of consistent chronological storyline. As new releases have been added over the years it has been increasingly difficult to order the timeline with a stronger degree of certainty and with fewer contradictions or difficulties. No official timeline has been developed or released by Nintendo, and there is no generally accepted theory of the many submissions that have been developed and then posted by fans. There seem to be two main schools of thought, those holding to a linear timeline theory, claiming that all the games line up in one consistent series of events, and those who believe that at some point a split timeline was created due to the ending of the Ocarina of Time game released in 1998.

Seems pretty pointless, right?

Well, maybe. But as I sat and watched through several fan videos posted on YouTube, I got to thinking, and started comparing debates such as this to other, more important debates that continue on today. For example, what about Biblical debates? What about people who spend months and years reading, interpreting, and forming theories based on texts? Some of the same questions raised in those debates greatly resemble those raised in The Legend of Zelda timeline debates.

Example: in both debates, questions of historicity arise. Questions such as "which of these 'texts' are 'canonical?' Can all of these 'texts' fit together coherently, without going against other sources of 'history?' How do we deal with these apparent contradictions?"

Perhaps a more important question that can be raised to both sets of arguments, that of the scholarly value associated with either the Bible, of with The Legend of Zelda series. Ultimately, I would pose this question: need you be a 'Zelda scholar' to find value in the 'texts?' And ultimately, I would say no. In much the same way, I don't think you need to be a Biblical scholar to find value in reading the Bible.

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, I'd say that Bible experts probably have a greater importance than that of video game experts, simply based on the disparity between the significances of both areas of expertise. But there does seem to be some value to come out of all this.

Like any debate, it ultimately gets people talking. And for the most part, it doesn't seem to drive people apart. Sure, things get a little heated, especially on a medium such as YouTube fan videos, but in some sense, I think you could effectively argue that it's brought people together, forming a weird little subculture. It also seems to promote the necessity of discussion. Almost every video promotes comments, questions, and critical feedback, something required in the search for truth. And ultimately, all the debate has emerged from the same agreed upon belief: a love for the Legend of Zelda series.

So there you go. A trivial example of the value of community, and the importance of having many voices in search of finding truth from mystery.

If you're interested in wasting about an hour or so of your life, check out some of these videos. The last one seems to make some good points amidst the vulgarity of his presentation.

Try your best to make it through the sometimes hard-to-listen-to videos. Remember, these are fan videos, they're not professional speakers. I find it interesting, at least.

Revamp.......sort of.

2010-07-29T01:57:00.000-05:00

It's been a couple years since I started this blog thinger, and although it has been a pretty decent time, sometimes I find myself at somewhat of a loss for what exactly I hope to accomplish in all this. Not that I think there needs to be a goal or mission statement for every little thing (especially something as trivial as a free web-publication site such as this one). But sometimes it seems that some greater clarity in purpose or direction would be helpful in making this thing worth reading. Hell, it might even motivate me to update this thing more regularly. And stop writing in the first-person so much.

So, what I propose to do, or what I think might be fun, is to review, recommend and discuss various examples of popular media. This might be from a technical, thematic, philosophical, or even theological standpoint, and it might include film, TV, music, books, etc. But in any case, it just seems like this could be a fun thing to do.

But don't worry, I'm committed to discussion. So I'm sure my opinions will probably sneak through at some point or another. I mean, who really finds objectivity interesting?

So, now that I've given my loyal fans a totally pointless update that I'm sure no one cared about, it's time to do it up I guess.

On the run...

2010-07-27T02:22:00.003-05:00

A little under a year ago, I posted an entry titled "Home. For Now." It was a post more or less trying to get across the message that I'd been on the road for a while and hadn't really had a chance to be anywhere long enough to feel settled.

And I guess not much has changed. After a couple weeks of serving at the old Cov. Heights, I'm back in a place where I haven't spent quite enough time to call home. But in time I'm sure I'll grow to love it.

It's weird being in a place that doesn't quite yet feel like home, but at the same time not really feeling homesick for anywhere else. There's a line in The Karate Kid Part II where Daniel LaRusso says that "home is where you hang your hat." And I guess there's some truth to that, or at least I've found it to be true on some level. I've been blessed in that wherever I've lived, wherever I've called home has been filled with good people, people that I've grown to love and be loved by. Home, for me at least, has been less about being confined to a particular time and space where things are comfortable and familiar as it has been about growing into relationships you form with people, and the continual fostering of the love for the place in which you now find yourself.

I tend to end most of my blog entries with something simple. I'm a pretty simple person, and maybe I have a tendency to oversimplify. But at least I'm self aware. So this post won't be any different.

Things are great. Life's a pretty sweet fruit.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.

2010-06-28T16:02:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had the chance to speak in this wonderful Minnedosa Covenant Church that I've been a part of serving for the last half year or so. It was the second time I've had a chance to do so in just under a month I guess. And I must say that I've come to enjoy it quite a bit. I must really like the sound of my own voice or something.

In any case, I spoke on the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), and tried to tie in, as best I could, the concept of time, and how valuable we view time, or "having time to ourselves", or how we sometimes cling to and value time more than we do money. And I'll be honest, after living in this community for half a year and getting somewhat of a sense of the church ethos, it was a pretty deliberate message.

It was a little awkward that I chose yesterday to give that message, as earlier in the service I received a financial honorarium (I suppose that's the general term you'd call it) or "Love Offering" from the people in the church. And I have felt loved. Through the giving of finances, I've felt so loved as a part of this community. So it's not as though I'm coming down on people or saying "You don't really care because you won't make time for..." You can't tell me these people don't care, that they don't know how to love. But I still think it's a good thing to think about. I think it's good to really assess what we spend our time doing, and whether or not this busyness that we've created for ourselves is Kingdom-building, and whether we actually need to be "too busy" to spend our time say, volunteering at service projects, or getting to know someone new in the community.

It was a little ironic that I was preaching on the subject of time and then ended up editing a couple sizable portions of the message out due to the service running long. At least, that's what I realized after the service was over and it was already too late to leave it in. If I'd caught the irony as it was happening, I'd have probably left the message as it was. I mean, church is one day a week. Does it really matter if I keep people there another 5 minutes?

How it happened.

2010-06-07T14:39:00.002-05:00

(For the benefit of those who I don't get to see and/or talk to very often)

Okay, so here's how it went:

It was Saturday, May 22nd. Earlier that week, the two of us had thought it might be nice to head up to Clear Lake, spend a day out there together, have dinner, and maybe stop by the camp (where we sort of met). However, it turned out to be a pretty terrible day in terms of weather, so we decided to scrap that plan. Which I was a little disappointed about, as I'd thought maybe a nice day at the lake would have been a pretty sweet backdrop for getting engaged. But the story goes on...

So instead of spending a sunny day at Clear Lake, we opted for a rainy evening in Brandon. We went out to dinner at a pretty exclusive place (Boston Pizza, maybe you've heard of it). After dinner, we went back to her house, after an unsuccessful browse for movie rentals.

Now, this whole time, the engagement ring has been in my glove box. Sitting mere feet away from where she's been sitting as we've been driving. I wasn't sure if that night would be the time to ask, as I'm pretty particular about how things happen, when, etc. I like to plan things. After leaving the video store to head back in for the evening, we arrived at her place. Just as she was about to get out of the passenger's side door, I ask: "hey, can you get me something out of the glove box?"

I hadn't been feeling super well just a few minutes before (probably a combination of nerves, and maybe some saucy pasta at BP's), so she probably thought she was reaching for some Immodium pills or something from my glove box. However, as she dug around, all she found was a small box, next to some outdated map of Winnipeg, and I think some gas-line antifreeze or something.

She passed me the box. I opened, and asked. She said yes.

So that's how it happened.

The News.

2010-05-24T21:13:00.003-05:00

So yeah. As of Saturday evening (May 22) around 6PM, Courtney and I are engaged. It's pretty thrilling. She and I are super stoked about the whole thing.

I might post an entry in a couple days as to how it happened....but if you know me and would like to ask first, feel free.

Je me refuse à encourager pour la Candadiens.

2010-05-13T15:30:00.002-05:00

That's right. I said it.

I'm starting to hate playoff time for a completely different reason than that to which I have become recently accustomed. I used to hate playoffs for the simple reason that my beloved Maple Leafs had failed to qualify. But now, an increasingly irritating pattern is beginning to develop among other playoff hockey fans.

In 2004 the Calgary Flames lost to the Tampa Bay Lightning in 7 games. In 2006, the Edmonton Oilers reached the same end at the hands of the Carolina Hurricanes. The next season, Ottawa lost in 5 to Anaheim. All three of those years, I found myself more and more frustrated by how many people who had chosen to align themselves with any of these three Canadian franchises. Under normal conditions, they would've never done so. Some of them may not have even been hockey fans at any other time of the year. But because "we gotta cheer for a Canadian team," they jumped onto a crowded, and somewhat annoying, bandwagon.

So, in short, I guess you can take this as my statement of refusal. I refuse to cheer for the Canadiens. And here's why: someday, and that day may be a long, long, loooooong way away, but I assure you, someday...the Leafs are going to compete for the Stanley Cup. And when that day comes, many of those people who make fun of me for sticking with a team that hasn't made the playoffs in 5 seasons, and those who can't cheer for Toronto because "it's Toronto," will jump onto the bandwagon. And I refuse to be that kind of fan.

Show some character, Canada. Stop having "second-favourite" teams. You think Detroit fans are going to start cheering for the Blackhawks because they "gotta go for an American team"? Get real.

So it's come to this...

2010-05-04T16:00:00.003-05:00

Last week I got into a 2 hour argument with a complete stranger at Starbucks. About philosophy. About relative ethics, Biblical interpretation, Theology, ultimate reality, and basically any other topic a self-described intellectual (the other guy, not me) would want to argue about.

All in all, it was a pretty good time. Some interesting points on his end, and I think I held my own in the debate as well. It was civil, we shared a good conversation, and no animosity or bitterness at the end of the night, despite having never reached a real agreement (besides to disagree I suppose).

Afterwards however, I got to thinking how potentially persuasive this dude's argument may have been to someone who simply didn't have an overly extensive vocabulary. Even though (by my own estimation) a lot of the points that came up in the conversation were fundamentally flawed (and downright logically absurd), had I not been able to sift my way through the jargon, I might have thought to myself that this guy may have been right. There's a temptation to feel stupid when you can't understand what someone is saying, which makes it seem like they've thought it out more than you have.

However, if the person can't relate what they're saying in a way that you can understand (if it doesn't make sense in layman's terms, it probably doesn't make sense in ANY terms), who's the dumb one, really? I mean, what does it really mean to be an intelligent person? Sure, I could probably string a lot of complicated words into a sentence, but if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, well........

Now see how many spelling/grammar errors you can find.

Home.

2010-04-20T13:48:00.003-05:00

Today I really miss Winnipeg. I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I miss having Fort Garry Dark on tap over at plate of nachos at Carlos and Murphy's. I miss White Russians and bowling at La Verendrye. I miss Daly Burgers on Corydon, and Chinese Buffet at the Golden Terrace. I miss walking down Stafford to 7/11 just past Grant Ave to grab a Slurpee. I miss Sunday nights at the King's Head Pub. I miss wandering with no purpose or direction. I miss Movie Village and wrestling at Dylan O' Connor's. I miss the Burton Cummings Theatre. I miss listening to that sweet Jamaican busker dude at The Forks, and walking a few floors up to take a glimpse of the Fort Garry Hotel. I miss murals and art in general. I miss getting hassled for money at the food court at Portage Place. I miss Sals breakfast with good friends.

I miss Faith Covenant.

Man in the box...

2010-03-15T19:12:00.002-05:00

This has nothing to do with the Alice in Chains song. Although, that song is awesome.

No, this has to do with an argument I've been having online recently through some blog posts. A pretty uncool thing to do when you think about it, but nonetheless that's what happened.

In any case, I don't really have a problem with people disagreeing with me. If you don't agree with what I say, that's fine. You can voice that, and if it really pisses you off, you can always read something else. What I do have a problem with however is people simplifying the debate and, in turn, making my side of the debate, and my reasoning (and intellect for that matter) to be just that: simple. In essence, I'm a simple person.

Now, I'm not really all that interested in playing out some feud any further. However, it does trouble me to think that people might have put me into a box. So, the point: I don't think anyone really has insight into what my motives were for posting my "Avatar sucks" comment, despite the assumption (and subsequent assertion) that I was only doing it to be counter-cultural, or that I didn't like the movie because most people did like it, and that I wanted (or already considered myself) to be above the masses.

Now, I'm not going to argue that my comments were anything more than an opinion. I know that. However, I just want to ask a question: is it possible to just like/dislike something on a case by case basis? Or must someone always fall under some sort of counter-cultural label?

I just ask this because I seem to dislike things that are popular, and at the same time like things that are popular. Pearl Jam is one of my favourite bands, and they tour almost constantly, and in big venues. The Godfather is my favourite movie, and is almost universally recognized as being one of the best films ever. However, I don't really like Beyonce. And I thought that Avatar sucked.

The point is, I'm not claiming my opinion is better than anyone else's, I'm just saying, sometimes it's a little more complicated than me just being counter-cultural as to why I like/dislike a movie. So, maybe take into account that I have a mind, and can think for myself, and have my own reasons for finding something enjoyable. I can explain them too, it might just take a little more time than it takes to ascribe someone a label.

Curiously, I've yet to receive any response to what I said about the Alice in Wonderland movie. Which leads me to believe no one was really interested in having a conversation about a film. Rather, it seems as though people just got all pissy because they didn't like what I had to say about a movie they happened to like. Or maybe people just haven't seen Alice in Wonderland yet.

Feel free to disagree...again.

2010-03-11T16:00:00.004-06:00

So, last night I saw the new Alice in Wonderland movie, directed by Tim Burton. I'll admit, I was excited about this movie when I first heard about it a while back. I typically like Tim Burton's movies, because there's usually something visually interesting going on.

Now, I won't say it was bad necessarily. But something was weird. Maybe I'm just tired of "green-screen" movies, maybe it's because I never thought the whole movies in 3D thing was all that impressive. (I've seen about 4 movies in 3D in theaters now, and only Up! did I really enjoy.) But I came out of Alice in Wonderland sort of confused as to what kind of movie I saw.

Throughout the movie, I found myself wondering just exactly what genre this movie was supposed to be. There were moments I was sure were leading up to some sort of drama that was supposed to advance the story in some way. But then the Cheshire Cat would do that big silly grin which gave people the giggles. And it seemed like people in the theater just couldn't get over how ridiculous Johnny Depp looked as the Mad Hatter. There was laughing at parts that I'm not sure were supposed to be funny. But I guess it was a Disney movie, so maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

I guess I'm just saying I didn't get it. I think if I watched it again at home I might get it and maybe have a stronger opinion of it one way or the other. But I left the theater last night in a state of mild confusion. If someone wants to explain what happened, that'd be cool.

A sigh of relief.

2010-03-08T15:13:00.004-06:00

Avatar did not win Best Picture at last night's Academy Awards. Praise the Lord.

That being said, I still haven't seen The Hurt Locker, so I can't really make an informed decision as to whether or not that particular movie did in fact deserve Best Picture honours. But I guess I don't really need to see other movies to know that Avatar sucked.

Better luck with your Avatar sequels, James Cameron. I'm sure they'll be just as original and jam-packed with stimulating dialog as the original. Ha.

Wow, last Sunday Team Canada wins Gold, this Sunday Avatar loses Best Picture. Life is going pretty fantastically for me right now.

"F*** the bank I work for..."

2010-03-02T10:08:00.002-06:00

It'd be nice if money weren't the most important thing in the world.

I don't actually mean that. But it sure seems like it. Making money is more often than not the number one commitment, at least it seems as such. People are so quick to drop things for an extra shift at work. How often have we heard "Oh, I'd like to, but I have to work."

I guess I can't expect everyone to be exactly like me. But seriously. I gave up graduating this year with all my friends. I gave up working full time next year which means giving up having the money to pay for things. I packed up my whole life and moved from the place that I love to work a job for no salary (which I don't mind). I gave up a lot. But still the world keeps on turning.

I'm still made to feel lazy at times. I still am made to feel like I'm unemployed because I don't receive a salary, even though I put in almost full time hours for this church community I'm a part of. I feel this sense of irresponsibility because I don't care enough to be like everyone else and find a good paying job so that I can live the good life like everyone else.

I'm so sick of it.

Just a notion.

2010-02-16T13:59:00.003-06:00

So, something sort of funny happened this past weekend. I was in charge of leading worship at a youth event in Norquay, SK. I guess it wasn't really that funny in a typical sense, but rather in a strange sort of conflicted way.

As a worship leader, you sort of feel like you have to represent the love and kindness aspect of living a faith-based life. Like you should preach about being merciful, loving and serving our neighbours, etc. You know, all the feel-good parts of being a Christian.

(I know there's a deeper dimension to love and service, but it's often overlooked in a youth-ministry setting.)

But as a youth leader, sometimes it seems like you have to be a ball-buster, particularly when it feels like no one else wants to play that role. It's not a role I'm particularly comfortable with, or enjoy to any extent, but it sometimes just feels like it's called for. Like someone just needs to do it. Some order needs to be maintained.

I guess it's not really that funny. It just feels weird to have to play two seemingly opposite roles at the same time. Maybe there's a better way to hold the two in balance with each other. Thoughts?

Avatar sucks.

2010-02-03T15:50:00.002-06:00

I don't even feel like I need to defend this statement. I think the movie speaks for itself. It should be up to people who liked this movie to convince me that it was good. I want to hear some good reasons as to why I should like this God-awful film.

Due to popular demand...

2010-01-26T11:32:00.002-06:00

So, it's been pretty much a full month since I last used this thing, and in that span, much has changed. A new set of scenery and a new living arrangement are parts of this new way of life which has greeted me quite kindly to the present.

I've had two official Sundays under my belt as the new church intern at Minnedosa Covenant, and things have been interesting. Being welcomed by a new church family, as well as getting used to being a worship leader again headlined the first week of challenges. Yesterday I spoke during the service, giving a bit of my own story to a church community that has thus been very welcoming and generous to a relatively new face.

There's much more to say of course, and I hope to have this thing updated on a somewhat more regular (at least weekly) basis. But there's lots to do as far as church work goes, so I'll save that for another time. I'll be the lone staff member present for this weekend's service as both Dan and Dean are away at a conference in Edmonton. Though I won't be asked to speak again just yet, I'll still be in charge of leading the service, so that'll be something new and challenging.

Ha, this all sounds way too official, and not very flavourful. I guess I'm a little rusty at this blogging business. There's a lot of rad folks here, and it's been a good time learning the ropes at this unpaid intern business.

Sweet Jesus...

2009-12-28T00:37:00.003-06:00

There's this one scene in the movie Almost Famous, right at the beginning, where the main character, William, and his family are seen celebrating Christmas in July, or August, or some summer month that clearly is not close to Christmastime. Anyway, the point is, they do so in order to celebrate Christmas at a time when it wouldn't be "commercialized."

Now, consider that baby Jesus very likely was not born exactly on December 25th, it doesn't seem (to me at least) all that strange to celebrate Christmas at a time where it may be less likely to get swept up in the waves of commercial, gluttony and excess. Perhaps a time in July, far removed from Boxing Day sales, mall madness, stuffing faces with enough food to feed a starving village, and all those other non-Jesus related things.

I suppose the counter-argument would be that one might miss out on the corporate act of sharing in the Advent Season of the church. I would say that though it would seem possible to continue in this act with a church community, it might serve well to celebrate Christmas at a time when church-sanctioned activities aren't as likely to be inter-bred with other, seasonal, non-Jesus festivities.

Or you could just take out those things and celebrate Christmas at a normal time. But let's face it, who's willing to do that?

365 days later...

2009-12-14T12:54:00.002-06:00

A year ago on this day, something really bad happened, which prompted me to write something very bitter and hateful shortly thereafter.

Well, it is one year later, and though I won't get into any details about exactly what happened then, and what is exactly happening now, I will simply say that life as of this moment is fantastic. Things aren't always figured out and they're certainly not always easy, but life is good. Things change, and sometimes they change back and get even better, as has been my experience in a few specific areas. But all I will say is that the events surrounding that evening are nothing but a bad memory right now, one not worth forgetting, and one to certainly learn from. But it's also a memory worth letting go, or at the very least, the bitterness and hate to which it was attached. It's something worth disregarding.

Some things never change though. Vern Peterson is still most definitely the balls.

Oddity.

2009-12-13T14:50:00.002-06:00

Last night at my job, I watched an older lady lead a crying child back and forth through the lobby of a senior citizens' apartment complex. The child didn't seem to be being harmed in any way, although I'd probably be embarrassed if I was all bundled up and led around by the hand, crying the whole time.

There isn't really a point to this. I just thought it was worth noting how unsettling that can be to have no idea how to perceive a situation. It just strikes me as pure crazy. Not psychotic or sadistic or anything, just really undecipherable.

Devastating.

2009-12-01T12:58:00.002-06:00

So lately, it seems as though a lot of people are really upset with the way the Saskatchewan Roughriders lost this past Sunday's Grey Cup game. Apparently, the Riders "should have won," and only lost on what some are calling "a technicality."

Oh, how quickly some forget. Mere minutes before, on a Montreal attempt for a two-point conversion, the Saskatchewan secondary got away with a huge pass-interference penalty, which would have tied the game. But no one remembers this. No one seems to recall this particular play in the game, which arguably would have been talked about as much as the two-many-men penalty against the Riders. But whatever. Rider fans are quick to forget such questionable circumstances. Still quicker to make up excuses for themselves though.

The point is, excuses are for chumps. Saskatchewan blew a two-touchdown halftime lead, got away with a potentially game-shifting penalty, and then took a legitimately called penalty themselves at the wrong time. They lost for a whole bunch of reasons. Realistically, they should have lost by a lot more. Montreal was the much better team all season, and was favoured to win.

They lost. Live with it. And better luck next year.

Solution?

2009-11-26T15:48:00.002-06:00

Lately, the topic of persuasion has entered my mind. That is, how do you persuade someone, or rather, convince them of what seems to be the truth? There seems to be an art to speaking to someone, or perhaps more deeply, speaking into someone's life, in order to convince them of a belief to which they claim the contrary.

For me, I tend to be fairly blunt. I tend to state things how I see them, and if someone disagrees, I have no problem in stating (bluntly, once again) how very mistaken I think they are. I may even get carried away, and have no problem in saying "that's retarded" in regards to a certain (seemingly absurd) truth claim. But this doesn't seem to get far with a lot of people. Criticize someone else's views harshly, and they often stop listening to you, regardless of how worthwhile your words may be to hear. This may prompt a more gentle approach.

But on the other hand, being gentle often seems a failure as well. Approach someone too gently, disagree too softly, and the impact of your words is likely not to be heard either. A quiet voice is often easy to dismiss, it would seem.

So what are we to do? How can we speak to someone in a way that demands their attention and careful, and actual, contemplation, while at the same time ensuring that our voice is indeed heard? Speak too harshly, you're likely to be seen as biggoted in some way and dismissed, speak too meekly, and your view may not impact the person, and they ignore you anyway.

It would seem that some simply don't want to listen. They've made up their minds, and nothing, no individual, communal, or textual voice will convince them otherwise. At some point I guess you just have to let things happen as they will. Perhaps absurdity will play itself out.

Therapeutic.

2009-11-17T11:54:00.002-06:00

Good grief, I must be disconnected with today's youth or something. Apparently Weezer released a new album like two weeks ago, and I didn't find out until just yesterday. Normally I'm on top of things like that. Although this has been a particularly good year for new music (in terms of bands I like releasing albums). Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Our Lady Peace, John Mayer (as of today) and Matthew Good (who has released the best album of the year, in my opinion). So I guess it's maybe not that big a deal that one got by me.

Anyway, having just discovered this new Weezer album, I've gotta admit, it's pretty sweet, if somewhat standard routine. There's something so irresistibly simple and catchy about Weezer's music, I just can't help but smile. It's so carefree and easy to listen to, it's like I can feel all my problems just melt away. Not that I have a lot of problems. But if I did, I can imagine them being melted away. Say what you will about how Weezer really hasn't changed their shtick in the fifteen years since the Blue Album came out, but there's something I find so naive and facinating about simplicity, I can't help but feel young again. And I'm only 21.

Here's an unofficial video, thanks again Youtube.

A Night at the Pub...

2009-11-09T00:57:00.002-06:00

So now, I finally have a story where I can say I bumped into a celebrity.

Tonight, while taking in some live music at the King's Head Pub (not an uncommon Sunday evening activity) I happened to spot someone who, from behind, seemed to look a lot like Kevin McDonald, co-star of the 1988-1994 Canadian sketch comedy program The Kids in the Hall. When he turned around, I thought "man, that guy really, really looks like Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall." Upon approaching him somewhat awkwardly later, I shook his hand, and was stoked to learn that it in fact was Kevin McDonald. He's playing a one man show somewhere in the city fairly soon I think. But I'd say meeting him at a crummy little drinking establishment in downtown Winnipeg is even cooler.

In case you don't know who Kevin McDonald is, or aren't familiar with The Kids in the Hall (produced by Saturday Night Live's Lorne Michaels), here's a sketch, from season one I think. Kevin's the one on the left, in the red.

Intuition.

2009-11-06T00:39:00.002-06:00

Do you ever have that where you sense something is wrong, even though you have no real reason to think so? Where there's not any real, specific evidence for something being wrong, but for whatever reason, you just feel a strange sense of "something is up right now"?

I kind of have that. And I really, really, really hope I'm wrong. But, as arrogant as it may sound, I find that I'm barely ever wrong. But at least I have a chance to figure it out.

For my sake, I really hope I'm just being an idiot in this case.

...as we forgive others...

2009-10-27T23:50:00.003-05:00

Sometimes people hurt us. Quite badly too. And sometimes it takes a long, long, long time to forgive. Even after you become friends and begin to love again, bitterness, and the inability to trust completely can linger. And no matter how much you can symbolize having moved on through words and actions, something remains out of place. And for as long as we hold on to it, it hinders our ability to care for one another fully.

But once you can truly and honestly let it go, I must say, it feels spectacular.

Submission.

2009-10-27T00:38:00.006-05:00

Submission is not something I do well. It's something that seems to imply weakness, a sense of giving up, being vulnerable, giving oneself to something or someone else. It's not a posture I like, or am comfortable with being in, and it's something I wonder if I'll ever learn to do properly, or be willing to do. Yet it's something that is demanded of we the faithful people. Submission to God, as well as each other, in a number of different ways and contexts. But it's something that scares me, and I wonder if I can ever do.

Speaking of submission.....

Sadly, this was the best Bret Hart Sharpshooter video I could find that wasn't like 8 minutes long, and didn't have terrible music.

Some interesting artwork.

2009-10-16T15:26:00.003-05:00

Check out this artwork by Alex Grey, set to Tool's cover of No Quarter (originally by Led Zeppelin).

Check out this wikipedia article for more information on information about Alex Grey's art, and personal life. He has done work for numerous musical artists, including Tool, Nirvana, The Beastie Boys, and so on.

Please note: I am not promoting mysticism or any sort of new age philosophy that may be linked to either the art or the artist. Please view from an observer perspective, and assess critically.

Also, if you want to skip a bunch of useless photographs of the band Tool, I'd suggest watching from about 3:13 or so into the video. It's a long video, so there's still lots of interesting pictures from that point on. However, the song is pretty cool, so maybe just listen for a bit.

Mr. Good, you've done it again.

2009-10-06T11:22:00.002-05:00

Everyone, and I mean absolutely EVERYONE needs to go out and buy this album:

If you're of the belief that Canadian music isn't worth listening to (which is false), or someone who believes that good Canadian music is in short supply (more true than the former statement), then look no further than Vancouver by Matthew Good. Named after Good's home city, the album features ten excellent alternative rock tracks, all rich with a more (perhaps) ambient sound, similar to Good's 2003 release Avalanche. This comes as a change from the more acoustic, folksy offering of Hospital Music (2007) and the straight-ahead rock sound of White Light Rock and Roll Review (2004). The record also features Good's trademark vocals, which are as passionate, driven and perfectly executed as ever.

How, you may ask, can an album so (supposedly) good feature only ten tracks? The simple answer is, no filler. Not a single track released on Vancouver can be regarded as throw-away material. Every title was intended to be released, and did not come as the result of record-company pressure for more songs, as Good recently stated in an interview with Alan Cross. The result: a solid, ten-track release, capable of being listened to start to finish.

Vancouver has been featured in a free live audio stream on Matthew Good's website for the past few weeks, and hits store shelves today.

Go buy it. For real.

Home. For now.

2009-09-08T18:51:00.003-05:00

So I've been back home for about a week or so. Sort of. I was in town from last Saturday, but gone again this past Saturday, helping move stuff into a basement suite in Brandon. Sweet stuff.

It's weird being home again. Mostly because it hasn't really been a home experience. I spent most of last week exploring the city, seeing the sights, doing tourist type stuff. Not to say it wasn't a good time, as it most certainly was, but not the sort of thing I'd be doing normally while living a life at home.

In addition, I've been inquiring as to a job elsewhere, a position in Minnedosa, MB. It's something that is still in the developmental stages, but if all works out, I may be leaving this Winnipeg city that I love so much as soon as this upcoming January. So while I've been home for a while now, it hasn't really felt like home. Mainly because I've been basically a tourist, as well as trying to leave.

It makes me sad, the idea of leaving. But I also understand that if doing work for the church is something I really want to do, it makes sense to look elsewhere. There is much need elsewhere, and I feel as though I can do more good in a community perhaps looking for something new.

Exciting stuff. Things will work out the way they're supposed to.

Joust, Assault, and of course, The Eliminator.

2009-08-27T11:56:00.004-05:00

The other night my girlfriend and I watched the new version of American Gladiators, hosted by Hulk Hogan. There is no word to describe this, other than.......effing awesome.

That's all I've got for now. This is what I consider newsworthy. Further details will be provided as they come.

Where it's at.

2009-08-24T12:27:00.002-05:00

My summer ministry position has ended. It has been a good, yet tiring couple of months, but time that has ultimately been well spent. I still feel the pull of doing ministry, a call that has been further cemented by the meaningful time this summer has offered.

And so where, you may ask, am I this very moment? Back in Friendly Manitoba, in beautiful Peg City? Not quite yet. I'm in Saskatoon right now, enjoying some long awaited time with someone quite special. Giving it another try, one that seems to feel more genuine this time around.

Ha, it's awkward explaining what feels different about dating someone the second time around. I mean, as much as you'd like to offer an explanation that objectively satisfies the inquiries of those concerned, for the most part, I have only my subjective claim that it just feels better this time around. I guess no one really knows the full context of a relationship except those involved directly in it, so that's about the best I got.

Anyway, hope all is well for everyone who takes the time to check in on this occasionally interesting illegitimate publication of mine. Take care friends.

...into the light.

2009-08-14T21:41:00.002-05:00

I am ready for the end. These past two weeks in Alberta have been good, but I am fully and completely ready for the end. Things aren't particularly bad. But I am tired. I am weak, I am frustrated by a great many things around me, but most of all, I have not made an investment. I have not invested into the lives of those who I have a ministerial obligation towards. This is not fair to them, and thus, I am ready to be in a place that is not here. It's not even a desire to be home. Just somewhere away from here, this type of work, work that I'm not sure I've deserved to be paid for.

Fail.

2009-08-03T13:45:00.002-05:00

So, on my last post, about a month and a half ago, I said I would try to keep my blog as regularly updated as possible. Clearly, that has not happened. And I don't feel all that bad about it. Because at any point where I would have had a spare moment to type up a blog post, I'm probably at a moment where I would likely say some things that would give the impression I'm not having that great a summer.

The truth is, I am. It's been a good summer. But lately, I've been impatient. I could be ambiguous as to what has been testing my patience, but it's at the point where I'm perfectly OK with calling things for what they are. I am impatient with being around the same group of people all day and night. I am struggling with the lack of variety in my company. And it's nothing against them personally. They're all great people, and I've had a blast at times with all of them. But at the moment, I need something different. It's not even a matter of needing some alone time. I need some time with other people.

It was energizing to be greeted by CBC friends upon arriving at Covenant Bay last night. I was tired after 2 long days of travel that probably didn't need to be quite as long, but being around different people seemed to give me the recharge I needed. At least to get me through the next few hours. Hopefully I will receive more such company in the next few weeks.

So much to say...

2009-06-18T00:41:00.002-05:00

Well, this is my first post of June, and much has been happening. It has been a very interesting and eventful month thus far. I have been busy.

Unfortunately, there has been so much that has happened, that it would take forever to write it all down, and would probably make for a very boring blog post. Not to say that anyone reads this for entertainment. I mean, I wouldn't.

In a couple days, I leave for this summer ministry team position that I am quite excited about doing. I don't know if it's quite sunk in yet just how much camp I will be a part of for the next 2 months, and I'm not quite sure I've realized that I leave in 2 days and still have a lot to do. But ah well. These things work themselves out. I'm pretty sure at least.

Life has been interesting as of late. Quite interesting, and not quite what I expected. I'm being fairly vague, ambiguous, (cryptic??) here, but if you know me, and you've caught on to my pattern of ambiguity, you might be able to guess roughly what it's related to. But alas, I cannot give many details. Too much to say, and not enough time.

I will try to keep this thing updated as regularly as possible throughout the summer, although that may be difficult. But I shall try. Good night everyone.

Underrated.

2009-05-26T17:06:00.005-05:00

So last night, I watched the Godfather Part III, a movie that gets a considerable amount of flack. Not a lot of people really like this third installment in the trilogy, or were disappointed that it didn't seem to live up to either of the first two films.

I'll admit, it's the weakest of the trilogy, and as Roger Ebert states "it's not even possible to understand this film without knowing the first two." However, I still think it to be a well told story, and a fitting conclusion to The Godfather saga. Even through its difficulties in standing alongside its predecessors, I still find it better than probably 85% of all other movies.

And while I enjoy Part III overall, I can't help but wish and wonder how much better it would have been with a pair of casting changes. Had Robert Duvall returned to once again play the role of German-Irish adopted brother and consigliere Tom Hagen, and had Mary Corleone been played by the originally-casted Winona Ryder, I think this film may have been even better. However, what's been is done, and as it stands, The Godfather Part III is still an enjoyable, intricate and moving film. For true fans of The Godfather series, the film is packed full of nostalgia and parallels to the first two films, ones that further the depth and weight of the themes of this epic saga.

Check it out sometime.

Come on summer...

2009-05-25T00:24:00.002-05:00

Somewhere between arguing with a particularly mouthy teenage kid about whether or not I happened to be looking in his direction, and being death-threatened by some burly, surly, ex-convict, drunk-ass Indian, I realized that this security job that I thought was maybe starting to turn into a pretty sweet gig, does indeed suck as much as ever. Good God, I need these next 4 weeks to go by quickly.

Please note: I don't use the term Indian loosely when describing Aboriginal peoples. I'm an eighth Cree-Ojibway myself, and only use this disparaging term to those who deserve it, those who perhaps live up to the stereotypes we feel oh-so-badly for believing. I figure this societal shit-stain falls under such a category.

Accountability.

2009-05-24T00:14:00.002-05:00

So, I'm gonna go right ahead and pick a fight with everyone's favourite influential alternative artist: Radiohead.

Not that I dislike Radiohead. I actually own all their albums. Plus Thom Yorke's solo album. I think High and Dry has one of the greatest melodies in the history of rock music. I can understand why OK Computer is given the alternative rock attention it has received. They've earned their stripes, so to speak.

My issue, moreover, is with Radiohead fans. Alright, I understand that the band has made some pretty fantastic albums, 3 in a row in fact, that have been deservedly recognized as some of the greatest alt-rock records of the 90s, and possibly all time (The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A). And I get the fact that if you make three pretty amazing albums in a row, that may entitle you to some artistic exploration. Once again, Radiohead has earned their stripes.

But seriously, c'mon fans. It's gotten to the point where Radiohead could basically take a shit in a bag and call it an album, and their fans would still love it. It would still qualify as "best album of the decade" to a number of people who are seemingly more impressed with Radiohead's rep than their actual music.

Now, don't get me wrong. They still make some decent songs, a couple every album. And Thom Yorke's solo record was pretty good. But it's not nearly as good as it once was. Call me what you will, maybe I'm just not getting the whole artistic expression thing that seems to be what all the cool kids are into these days, but it just kinda seems like Radiohead has reached the point of slapping together some really awkward sounding chords and beats and synths and shit, in place of where nice melodies once occupied. And their fans are so up their own asses with how artistic and unique it is, that the quality is going unchecked.

I guess quality is a subjective thing to some degree. But I'd like to think I'm not that hard to please. So please, music fans: hold your bands accountable. If they start making bad records, say something. That's what a fan of music does, I figure.

I encourage disagreement/discussion here.

Still not getting it...

2009-05-21T22:30:00.003-05:00

"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Bunch of easily led automatons. Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes."
-Veronica Loughran, Clerks (1994)

Maybe I'm severely missing the point here.

There is something about speaking very passively that just irks me for some reason. Maybe it's the nature of passive thinking/acting/living more than anything, but for whatever reason, I simply can't wrap my head around the thinking of others sometimes.

To clear up any confusion, I mean specifically the denial of choice. The denial that we have any control over what happens to us. The idea of sitting back and waiting for a situation to improve, or for anything to happen at all really. The lifestyle of waiting and discovering. For some reason, I just can't get my head around this style of thinking.

I've talked about this over and over, and I'll continue to rant and rave about this issue probably until the end of time, so I won't go into a whole lot of depth, seeing as I have before. But once again, I encourage people to proactive. The ability to choose is what sets us apart from the animals. We are not a bunch of drifting automatons. You are not a puppet, I will say again.

More details to follow.

Roller Town.

2009-05-20T15:52:00.002-05:00

This is an Internet sketch comedy group called Picnicface. They're from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Check them out. They make some pretty hilarious, if somewhat inappropriate videos.

The thought of this becoming an actual movie is one that gets me through the day smiling. I'm not sure if it actually will, but it can't hurt to dream.

A Lack of Color.

2009-05-18T01:23:00.001-05:00

Just a really cool video for a pretty fantastic song.

Change the locks.

2009-05-09T01:44:00.002-05:00

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is the Rob Horsley, minus about 8 inches of hair all around. It may take some getting used to, and I'm sure the hardcore fans will say that I'm selling out. But in time, I hope everyone can accept this change, and understand that people evolve, and that change is sometimes a necessary thing, one that leads to much growth and enrichment, and........

Yeah, we could turn this post into some sort of pseudo-deep "enlightener," but who are we kidding. It's a haircut. Get serious.

Independence.

2009-05-03T14:46:00.002-05:00

Almost a year ago, I started this blogging business, and I'd say it's been decent. After some uncertain beginnings as to the legitimacy of this particular medium (concerns which haven't completely disappeared), I'd say it's been an overall good time, and I've enjoyed using this address as a form of expression, humour, venting, all things blog-related.

It was just over a year ago when I made that oh-so-grown-up decision to move out my parents' homes and begin my independent adulthood at 690 Jackson Avenue. After just over a year, I'd still say that I love living here. I love being close to my friends, I love being in a city, where signs of human life are always around, even if the small-town "everybody knows everybody" mentality is non-existent. It's been a good run, one that I'm not about to end anytime soon (so I figure), one filled with good and not so good times with two excellent roomies that I am very blessed to share the company with. Props also to my Jackson Hole predecessor B-Reimer, as well as that guy who stays at our house on the weekends. Without these dudes, this past year, such a formative and challenging experience, simply would not have been the same.

And so how, you might ask, did I commemorate my one year anniversary as a man of Jackson Ave? By spending $700 of my mother's money on car repairs. Despite no longer living under their respective roofs, I can't say I'm completely on my own. If being financially independent is what it means to "grow up," I wonder if I'll ever really be on my own. Ah well. It's no big deal. I'll pay back what I owe. Sometimes I just can't help but feel like a little kid trying to live in a world that's more adult than I realize.

Working Men of All Countries...

2009-04-29T08:39:00.004-05:00

...UNITE!
-Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, The Communist Manifesto

This post has nothing to do with communism.

So, today I was all set to "join the working class" with a sweet full-time day shift security gig at Health Sciences Centre. I woke up extra early (6:15 in the AM), and was there on time, or at least before my supervisor arrived. After waiting for almost an hour, it was discovered by my boss that the job had been cancelled, at least for the day. For all those that were worried that Rob was about to become a legitimate working citizen, fear not; that beach-short wearing, street walking (in the drifter sense; not the other kind), Jesus-resembling rascal is here to stay. At least until they call me with a shift that doesn't get cancelled.

So here I sit, wide awake, before 9AM, unsure of what to do with this first half of the day that I am rarely priveledged with seeing. Suggestions?

If only...

2009-04-28T00:28:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wish I was born like a decade earlier, a few thousand kilometres to the west. I just watched the movie Singles directed by Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous), and though the script may have been a little cheesy at times, and the plot wasn't really anything all that special, just the early 90s atmosphere of the Pacific Northwest makes me think I was born slightly out of place, ten years or so too late.

But, I suppose, as sweet as it would be to have been a part of that whole "Seattle scene," I guess I was placed in the heart of the Canadian prairies for a reason. And I love being here, don't get me wrong. But it doesn't hurt to fantasize I guess. Sometimes...

At the very least, it would be nice to have friends who don't make fun of me for getting all antsy whenever Eddie Vedder's voice comes on the radio. Seriously guys, Pearl Jam is awesome. Don't even deny it. But I guess I love my friends all the same.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrr!"
-Eddie Vedder, from any number of Pearl Jam songs

"I can't listen to this music, it doesn't sound enough like Martin Sexton for me to like it, twaaaaaa."
-my friends, though few of them actually say twaa. Only joking of course. In reference to the David Blaine episode of South Park, Season 5. Watch it.

.....not all my blog posts have to make sense. Or be funny.

Irony.

2009-04-22T16:58:00.004-05:00

Definition

Practical example

I've suggested several times that perhaps we should cease from using the word "ironic" or the term "irony," mainly for the reason listed in the article above, that it's difficult to define. And as it was pointed out also, the fact that it's difficult to define isn't all that funny. But nonetheless, I've heard it used incorrectly a number of times, and it's just a little pet peeve I have. Oftentimes it gets used as a synonym for "coincidentally," which, if you think about it, is not the same thing at all. I also think maybe we should retire the word "literally" for reasons of misuse as well.

I sometimes have difficulty defining irony myself. I'm slightly better at pointing out when something isn't ironic. However, I do have one practical example of irony that irks me to some extent.

I have the unfortunate birthday of April 20th. It's unfortunate for a number of reasons. Firstly, the most notable "celebrity" I happen to share this date of birth with is Adolf Hitler. The second is probably Iggy Pop. However, more tragically, my birthday is also the day where a bunch of stoners defy their stereotype of being disorganized, lazy, and stupid and make the trek down to the legislative building on Broadway, sit on the grass and smoke weed. Since there's always a few hundred of them there on this particular day, the police can't do anything about it. Arrest one, you've got to arrest them all.

I myself do not smoke pot. Anymore. I've never been to a "420" protest at the legislative building. However, I can guess that there were at least a few Che Guevara shirts in attendance there. And this is where irony sets in: if you've done your research, or read deeply enough into the person, character and ideologies of Che Guevara (the Argentinian Revolutionary who helped the Castro brothers overthrow the Batista government of Cuba), you'd discover that Che hated drug users. He found them a drain on the economy and not good for a whole lot. I'm not making any sorts of claims such as this. I know good people who use drugs, and I know untrustworthy people who use them as well. Drugs don't necessarily create bad people. Correlation (if any) does not equal causation.

However, I find it funny and ironic that such a celebrated figurehead would likely be disgusted by the culture that has embraced him as such a hero. Now THAT's ironic.

For an excellent biography on the person and life of Ernesto "Che" Guevara, check out Jon Lee Anderson's Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life (New York: Grove Press, 1997).

The Weakerthans - concert review

2009-04-19T02:35:00.004-05:00

Setlist

Psalm for the Elks Lodge Last Call
Tournament of Hearts
Our Retired Explorer (Dines with Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961)
Night Windows
Reconstruction Site
Aside
Civil Twilight
Bigfoot
Plea from a Cat named Virtue
The Reasons
Sun in an Empty Room
Left and Leaving
Wellington's Wednesdays
Benediction
(Manifest)
ENCORE
One Great City!
Anchorless
Relative Surplus Value
This is a Fire Door Never Leave Open
Virtue the Cat Explains her Departure
2ND ENCORE
My Favourite Chords

Giving their second performance in as many nights, hometown alt-rockers The Weakerthans put on stellar show for a sizeable crowd at the Burton Cummings Theatre. Playing mostly from their two most recent albums, Reunion Tour and Reconstruction Site, the setlist also featured a few numbers from older releases, Left and Leaving, and their debut Fallow.

The show featured a number of highlights, including a keyboard-only rendition of Anchorless with all bandmates on separate electric instruments, giving an electro-pop feel to a fan favourite. Lead vocalist/guitarist John K. Samson brought an element of humour to the performance with a mock 80's style guitar solo during a break in the song Plea from a Cat Named Virtue, sarcastically showing off his "axe-skills."

While the energetic performance of guests The Constantines warmed up the crowd by demonstrating the use of violence on an electric guitar, the Toronto local act simply could not outshine the hometown favourites. The Weakerthans quickly brought the audience to its feet and delivered fans a night of homegrown entertainment.

.....

This was my attempt at music journalism. Hope you liked it. But seriously. Check these guys out. Buy any of their CDs (their most recent two are pretty solid). Support local music.

Pirates.

2009-04-16T14:57:00.003-05:00

A few nights back, my roommates and I watched the a movie on our TV, a movie that hasn't been released in theatres yet. I'm not sure how closely people monitor these public blogs, but I won't mention the name of the movie for fear of being charged or arrested or kidnapped and sold into some sort of strippers' union.

But anyway, so we watched this movie that was downloaded, I'm assuming illegally. I mean, it's not in theatres yet, so I assume we probably didn't have any legal right to see it. The movie was pretty awful. The plot was interesting enough, decent storyline, but the main reason the film sucked: it wasn't DONE. The CGI animation on a number of scenes wasn't complete, which is pretty noticeable when basically an entire fight scene at the end is in CGI. A few stunt support cables were still fairly obvious during a couple scenes. All in all, I wish I'd waited a few more weeks so I could pay 10 dollars to see this otherwise not bad movie.

Last week, I got caught for taking some food from my school's cafeteria. I subsequently paid for it. I know stealing is wrong, and I had no right to do what I did. I offer no justification for what I did, all I can do is say I'm sorry and offer monetary compensation, both of which I have either done, or am in the process of doing.

I do however find myself a little frustrated at how selective people are with their ethics. I'm not saying that the illegality downloading music or movies or software or anything, in ANY way makes it right for me to take a plate of spaghetti from the cafeteria. Two wrongs definitely do not make a right. But I have to think that if we're serious about being ethical people, maybe we should strive to be consistent in our ethical standards. That goes for me as well.

This post is not meant to be targeted at any ONE person in particular. However, if you find yourself feeling a sense of guilt as a result of this post......good. Maybe you should feel guilty.

If you haven't seen this yet...

2009-04-12T23:15:00.005-05:00

...you NEED to.

Check this out.

So true. I'm a white person, and I can attest to liking several of these things. Don't get me wrong, I think each and every person (in this case, white person) is special or unique in their own way. But it's pretty amazing how easily we fall into a category sometimes. I guess that's what categories are for.

Don't assume I dislike yuppie culture because I make fun of it. I like lots of things I make fun of. Sometimes there's just too much funny stuff not to make fun of.

P.S.: Each item on that list has an attached article to read. Just so you know why white people like all of those things.

Has this ever happened to you?

2009-04-04T23:34:00.002-05:00

Do you ever have a day/moment where you suddenly just feel like lashing out at something that's been really, really good to you? Like, all of a sudden, everything good that that thing/person has been/done for you is forgotten and you just want to say "f*** you" to whomever/whatever is suddenly so frustrating?

Well, for some unexplained reason, I'm in a moment like that right now. And my current inexplicable whipping boy of choice is my church. My church that has been so good to me, and has helped raise me into the person I've become. It's been like having an extra parent it's been so good to me.

So why the frustration? Ah, probably for the same reason I'd be frustrated with either of my real parents. All the things they try to tell me seem to come off as complete bullshit at times, but deep down I know they're right. They generally know what they're talking about, yet because I'm young and stupid, I don't realize it. They're right even though I don't want them to be right. So when I'm told "do good for the sake of doing good, don't do things for a reward," I know it's right, even though it comes across as complete bullshit.

Yeah, I know it's the right thing to do. Sometimes it just seems like a really shitty way of saying "yeah sometimes life can really bend you over and give you the what-for." Wow, that was crude.

Because I really have nothing else to say...

2009-03-31T01:31:00.003-05:00

I feel like I haven't really had anything worth posting in the last little while. Not that I haven't been thinking about things, I just don't quite know what exactly it is I want to say. I was going to write a blog about greed and giving money to the church and stuff like that, but then my friend/pastoral dude gave a sermon on basically the exact same thing, and said it way better than I ever could have. So that's out. Instead, I'm posting a video of Stevie Wonder live from Sesame Street in 1973. I don't even particularly know/like Stevie Wonder's music that much. Although I'm sure if I said I did, that would probably up my "street-cred" or something like that. It's probably pretty cool to like Stevie Wonder, I figure.

I'd say 0:39 is the highlight. Also, take note drummers: this is how NOT to keep tempo in a song.

Nothingman.

2009-03-24T20:26:00.003-05:00

Once divided...nothing left to subtract...
Some words when spoken...can't be taken back...
Walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...
Future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...
Caught a bolt a lightnin...cursed the day he let it go...

She once believed...in every story he had to tell...
One day she stiffened...took the other side...
Empty stares...from each corner of a shared prison cell...
One just escapes...one's left inside the well...
And he who forgets...will be destined to remember...

Oh, she don't want him...
Oh, she won't feed him...after he's flown away...
Oh, into the sun...ah, into the sun...

Burn...burn...
Nothingman...
Isn't it something?
Nothingman...
Nothingman...
Coulda been something...
Nothingman...

words by Eddie Vedder. music by Jeff Ament.

From the basement...

2009-03-21T01:48:00.003-05:00

Tonight I took in the second Del Barber concert in two nights, this time at the Providence College benefit concert. It was a good show, even if it was identical to the one I saw last night. Still a good time overall.

There's one line from one of Del's songs that seems to keep repeating over and over. "From the basement, Chicago." It probably sounds better than it looks to just write it out. But this first line of the chorus from "Where the City Ends" seems to stir up some different, even opposing mental images for me.

The reference to Chicago makes me remember my time in that city just under a month ago, where I was reunited with old friends, and all the shitty stuff that had been going on in life around that time just didn't seem to matter. It was a good time, and I miss that city, though I am glad to be back home.

On the other hand, "From the basement" seems to symbolically refer (to me anyway) to stuff that I thought maybe didn't matter anymore. It seems as though the stuff that I had packed away, perhaps in a sort of "basement" in my thoughts, is still around, and I'm unsure of what to do with it.

Oh ambiguity. Maybe someday I'll know how to say things.

Dilemma.

2009-03-17T17:42:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if what I've given up for Lent is really all that worthwhile. I think I talked about this a couple entries ago, but I really am not sure that smoking is all that worthwhile giving up for me. I mean sure, it's a bad habit, one that I don't intend on doing my entire life, but I just think I could be doing better things. Plus, I just don't really want to keep going. I guess that's what it can be boiled down to.

Maybe my dilemma has to do with the question of why I'm taking part in Lent to begin with. I feel as though I've committed myself to a practice, an event, and lost sight of the reason behind it, that is, God. It's easy for me to commit to an event such as Lent, or to give money to a church, or work all night and still show up to play music in church the next day. Those things are easy. Recognizing the reason behind all of them is what I can't seem to do. And to be honest, I'd say this is probably a bigger issue than frustrating my nicotine cravings.

On one hand, I want to quit. On the other, I hate being a quitter. Such is my dilemma.

Odd Hours.

2009-03-12T23:53:00.003-05:00

I apologize for my irregularity in keeping this blog updated, particularly this month. I just figured I would check in and say that I am still alive, and life for the most part is pretty solid.

Well, I'm headed to bed soon. It's the first time in a few days where I've settled in for sleep with the sun down. These overnight shifts are wrecking my sleep schedule. Ah well, such is the price us full-time students/full-time house-renters must pay I guess.

And, just because I feel like it:

Gorgeous. A masterpiece. Good night everyone.

5 years.

2009-03-05T22:00:00.004-06:00

Two blog posts in less than 24 hours. Crazy.

So, I figured that last post maybe came off as too much of a rant. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm missing the point of Lent or something, and all the stuff that comes off as really trivial to me is actually congruent with the true spirit of the season or whatever. Maybe the point isn't so much that you're quitting something as being made aware of its presence in your life in comparison with the presence of God in your life. I'm not sure. I still think there's some funny things about what we sometimes give up. But whatever.

Anyway, in regards to the title of this post: 5 years ago today I got high for the last time. At least intentionally. I don't think it counts when you sniff a little too much lacquer by accident when you're a house painter. But yeah. Five years, and still doing well. I have no desire to start again anytime soon, so I guess that's good. Maybe it's not that much of an accomplishment, but to me it feels like a big deal, although most years the date goes by and I forget about it, so maybe its not that big a deal.

In any case, I guess it's a good thing that pothead Rob is done away with. Having compared academic philosophy to a bunch of hungry, giggling idiots sitting around blathering on about nothing, I'd say I prefer the former. Get real guys. Pothead philosophy is basically the same thing as being retarded.

Be like Tim.

2009-03-05T02:10:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I feel like my little brother Tim gets a bad rap from some of my Christian friends. I'm not sure how it got to be this way, but I seem to be generally accepted as the older, wiser, more responsible brother while he seems to be thought of as more the party animal, the jock, the screw-up, whatever. Neither of these is completely accurate. There's lots of times where it's me who F's up, and he's there to bail me out. And the other day I was immensely proud of my little brother.

I can see why certain members of our Christian communities become frustrated with the season of Lent. Like so many other things, it seems like it all too often becomes trivialized. The other day my brother told me he was planning on giving up speeding for Lent. That's right, speeding. No kms over the speed limit. None. Sounds difficult, doesn't it?

And that's what Lent is all about, I think. Giving up something that is not only legitimately tough, but something that has caused a lot of problems in one's life, and something that has a considerable grip on you. My brother has been in a number of car accidents in the fairly few years since he's had his license, and most of them have been due to speeding. This Lent will be a challenge for him.

Tim is probably one of the best examples I can think of for a person taking Lent seriously, at least in the regard of actually finding something worth improving. Oftentimes it seems like we pick really trivial things to give up, like eating McDonald's, or watching a favourite TV show, or biting our fingernails. To me, it just seems like this doesn't really add up to what Lent is about.

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe fast food is really contributing to some serious gluttony issues, or watching Lost is becoming detrimental to tasks, relationships, commitments, etc. Maybe stuff like this is worth giving up. But it seems like oftentimes giving up things as ridiculous as biting your fingernails is just a cover for some other issue that perhaps is too difficult to fight.

I freely admit I'm as weak as the next person. I gave up smoking for Lent. It's a legitimate bad habit for sure, but is it really something that's controlling my life? Are my relationships with those I love suffering because of my smoking? Am I failing to keep commitments and responsibilities because I crave a little nicotine every now and then? Is my smoking damaging the way I view people and their worth as human beings, am I dehumanizing them because I smoke, in the same way that something like say, lust can do? I would say not. I would say there are more worthwhile things that I could give up this year for Lent. Yet I'm too weak to do so, as are many others.

I include myself in saying that maybe we should seek the deeper, more difficult problems, addictions, struggles in our lives when we think about Lent and how to effectively take part in it. Whatever the decision, it's ultimately just easier to give up smoking. Kind of a crazy thought.

Windy City Adventure - The Conclusion

2009-03-02T00:06:00.003-06:00

So, I've been back for almost a week now, yet I have not posted anything since my last night in Chicago.

The trip was spectacular. Too short, but just what I needed. It was so good to be around old friends and to carry on conversations of old as if they'd never stopped. That, combined with seeing the sights of the Windy City (including a fantastic evening view of the city skyline), taking in a pro hockey game, and of course some Chicago deep dish pizza action, made for a weekend that I'm grateful for happening. Though I'm pretty sure it won't happen, in some ways it'd be nice to escape to Chicago for a bit, run away and live life somewhere new and exciting, although my heart would surely ache for this Winnipeg city I love so much.

Now, I'm back at home, after another long and eventful and fun weekend doing music stuff in Minnedosa, MB. Another great place to be, filled with many good, hospitable people. I can't wait to return to both of these places.

Life has been good as of late. I'm blessed to know so many good people from all different types of places. It's people like these that give me my strength when I feel a sense of weakness. So lucky am I for knowing them.

Well, I best sleep. I'm back in the workforce bright and early tomorrow. Night all.

Windy City Adventure Day 4

2009-02-23T00:34:00.002-06:00

Today we attended church at Grace Evangelical Covenant where we saw our former teacher from CBC, Amanda Olson, now the pastor at that church. It was good to see her again. After lunch we caught up with some more friends from CBC before heading down to the United Centre to watch the Minnesota Wild hand the Blackhawks a 2-1 defeat. Winnipeg native Jonathan Toews scored a goal, which was nice to see.

It has been a worthwhile trip, filled with lots of fun events, and a lot of reconnecting time with good friends from our class of 07. Tomorrow we leave early for a long trip. In lots of ways, I really wish this wasn't the end, I wish we had more time. It will be hard to leave tomorrow, but it'll be good to be home as well. I hope that it won't take as long for me to come back down here, because I really feel like I've fallen in love with this city, this campus atmosphere, and have thoroughly enjoyed the time spent with friends.

I wish I had something funny to say, but right now I'm just very sad to leave, because it just feels so right being down here. It was something I've needed, and I hope it won't be as long before I can do something like this again.

Good night everyone, wish me safe travels tomorrow.

Oak Hills/North Park Adventure Day 3

2009-02-22T00:52:00.002-06:00

Today we took a tour of the windy city. After a ride on the Chicago city train, visiting some sweet aquarium for free, and taking walk through Millennium Park to see the giant bean, we topped off the evening with some deep dish Chicago style pizza. The rest of the evening featured some solid hangout time playing games and having a great time with old friends from CBC. It's like we never left that place. So much time apart, and it's like we can just pick up where we left off and have fun like old times.

I really, really wish I had more time here. I've realized that I love the city of Chicago, and though my heart still lives in Winnipeg city, there's something really cool about this place. If it weren't so damn expensive to go to school here, I could totally see myself loving the North Park campus life.

There's not much else to say, other than it has been a great day, and I will be very sad to say goodbye to old friends again. It has been a great trip, one that I hope doesn't take too long to do again sometime.

To those from back home, Chelsey sends her greetings, and says she's very happy to be down here, yet misses those who are missing her. Goodnight everyone, from the windy city.

Oak Hills/North Park Adventure Day 2

2009-02-21T03:42:00.002-06:00

Chicaaaaaaagoooooo........

We arrived at North Park University Campus around 2AM this morning. A long trip, made somewhat more interesting due to the fact that we had to drive through a Minnesota/Wisconsin snowstorm basically the entire way to Illinois. But it was a good trip all in all, and now we have arrived, greeted by 3 CBC classmates, and greeting another who was sleeping before his morning work shift.

I can already tell it will be hard to leave this city. Some good folks around these parts, ones that I have not seen for a long time and will likely have not enough time to catch up with. But we'll try to make the most of it.

Side note: The Illinois road toll system is retarded. Seriously, you have to pay to drive on the roads? Get real. Maybe the US government should start charging their citizens more taxes so that idiocy like this doesn't happen. Or maybe someone should write a letter to that new guy that just got elected into office. You know, that black guy. What's his name again? Hmmmm....for some reason the name Jesus is coming to mind. Yeah, that's probably right.

Oak Hills/North Park Adventure Day 1

2009-02-20T00:12:00.002-06:00

I arrived safely at Oak Hills Christian College in Bemidji MN around 1:30 this afternoon. Upon my arrival I was surprised to find that a number of my Providence College classmates were also down here for a basketball tournament at Oak Hills. A strange and random coincidence. I can now say I've watched my first Providence College basketball game, a thrilling overtime upset by the Freemen. Neato.

My CBC chums Dave and Tom are doing swell, and tomorrow afternoon (hopefully) we hit the road for Chicago. I must say that experiencing another small Christian college is an interesting experience. So many similarities and little differences, it's funny how these small Jesus campuses work and operate in their own unique, but familiar ways. Interesting for sure.

Well, it has been a long day. I will try to write more if this whirlwind weekend trip allows me. Good night all.

The Inkling.

2009-02-18T03:04:00.002-06:00

Something is up. Something is stirring. I'm not sure what it is. But it's something.

I guess I can't really express explicitly what's been going on in my head. Not on this forum anyway. But I've just got the slightest bit of curiosity as to what might be going on.

Well, now that I've confused you thoroughly, maybe I'll give some clarification. I'm not sure exactly what I'm hearing, but there's been a bunch of strange little coincidences, little nudgings, or inklings if you will. Nothing major, but a bunch of little reminders, which have been directing my thoughts in a strange direction. No, I'm not turning gay or running away to join the circus, or some kind of weird combination of the two (gay circus?). But strange reminders keep popping up in unexpected places, and though I don't know what any of this means, I'm willing to entertain some sort of notion that perhaps God is speaking in some way. Normally I chalk that sort of thing up to pure coincidence, but we shall see. I don't know what exactly any of this means, but it sure feels like something is going on, and I'm curious to find out what it might be.

My City is Still Breathing Part 3

2009-02-12T00:59:00.002-06:00

I'm currently in the process of writing a paper for my Acts class at school. In it, I'm instructed to answer any question of my choice from my Craig Blomberg textbook From Pentecost to Patmos. In searching through all the questions, I landed upon this one:

What principles for divine guidance may we deduce from the opening stages of Paul's second missionary journey?

Such a topic is one that intrigues me greatly, mainly because my answer is always "I don't know. I have no idea." I honestly have not the foggiest idea of what constitutes as divine guidance, and cannot for the life of me determine what God is calling me to do. I'll admit that in the last few weeks in particular, I've been through some rough days where I've tried to distance myself from any sort of interaction with God, and have attempted to reject prayer as a working form of communication. As I worded ever so cleverly a couple entries ago, I became sick of "spending time on my knees talking to myself."

However, as I read the Blomberg text I was struck by one method of communication described by the author. In addition to the dramatic guidance (i.e. visions, the "James Earl Jones" voice of God) perhaps more typically thought of in Scripture, as well as the opened and closed "doors" we encounter in life, there exists an alternate form of communication in regards to divine guidance.

I'm struck by the term used by Blomberg: sanctified common sense. This, according to Blomberg, comes sometimes without full assurance that one has made the only possible correct decision. This, to me, seems to be the closest to how I encounter God. I like to reason things out, to make sense of things, to go with what seems most right, most natural, most logical. I don't have full assurance that what I decide is the only way to go about things, but it makes the most sense, so I do it.

I guess in the end it really is a sort of choose your own adventure. Which is perhaps bothersome, and could be seen as a cop-out. But I'm willing to let it go for now. I wonder however, taking into account that God can seemingly speak in a wide variety of ways (as listed above), could it be possible that two different conclusions, reached through perhaps different realms of communication, could somehow co-exist and both, in a sense, be right? I guess that's a hard question, one that I've been holding close to for quite some time, and will likely be wondering for a while yet.

Keep it on the up.

2009-02-09T02:12:00.002-06:00

Well...

I feel bad for writing post after post with nothing really to say. I wish I could say that things have turned around, and that I'm in some sort of upswing or that life has gained some positive momentum or something to that effect. But alas, this is not the case.

It seems like I've become a person of ups and downs lately. There are moments filled with laughter and friends and all those good things (ex: Thursday night wrestling at Dylan O' Connor's, Sundays at the King's Head), but even these moments are followed soon after by an intense downer time. It seems as though I still haven't recovered. It seemed like I was getting better for a while, but such is clearly not the case.

I always hesitate to define myself as an emotional person, mainly because I don't trust emotions, and they seem to lead to hasty and irrational decisions, behaviour, etc. But I guess I can't deny that I feel things. And right now it feels just awful. I find that the things that typically bring me joy (being involved with Church family, learning about the Bible in school, playing drums in church, etc.) are at best only momentary relief before the eventual downstroke in the emotions department.

I wish I could feel that sense of calmness, that peace of God that I had felt before things fell apart. I wish I could be at ease with a lot of things, yet I find myself anything but calm, relaxed, confident with how things will (and have) play(ed) out. And, I find myself using this blog as an outlet, because I feel like face to face conversations with people have become tiresome and that I might be becoming a burden by always talking about how shitty I feel.

So, go ahead and make fun of me for making my blog into some emo vent-space. I wish I had something better to say, I really do. But I don't. Sorry, I guess.

Pod People.

2009-02-06T19:27:00.003-06:00

I enjoy playing to a crowd. The other night, I was driving through Osborne Village, also known as the hippie district of Winnipeg, to those of you not "in the know." Anyway, I got this idea in my head that I'd roll down my windows a bit, and pump a little Radiohead real loud over my car speakers, maybe to attract the attention of some cool hipsters that may have just so happened to be walking down the street. My hope was that they would be attracted by my super cool, cultured Kid A album selection and say to themselves "hey, that guy must be pretty cool, if he's listening to Kid A by Radiohead. Because I love Radiohead."

Then I realized I was probably wasting my time. Not even because it was a retarded idea to begin with, but because most of the super cool hipsters I know are too busy walking the streets with their neato white headphones in their ears, filling every odd second of their lives with a soundtrack evidently more interesting than just regular city noises.

I guess I still have a lot to learn in the "being cool" department.

P.S.: I'm being pretty sarcastic here. There's nothing wrong with loving music and listening to it. I just find it funny how a sub-culture can be so easily caricatured sometimes.

"I'm predicting March 21st."

2009-02-02T22:48:00.003-06:00

This is how I feel. All the time.

Oh, Groundhog Day. Every year, the false anticipation of an early end to the misery known as winter.

Ha, I don't even mind winter. I kind of like it, as a matter of fact. I might be one of the only Winnipeggers I know that actually enjoys living here in this city, at this time of year. Not that that makes me special or anything, it just seems to be a fact.

I don't know what I plan to say here. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I might be in physical withdrawl from nicotine (depending on if I've actually smoked enough to have developed a physically demanding "habit"), but most of all I'm just sad. I'm not motivated. I'm tired of people speaking into what they have no frame of reference for, I'm tired of a lot of things.

I'm frustrated, yet lack the motivation to do anything about it. I don't want to move ahead, I'm still convinced I'm right. I'm sick of empty advice and spending time on my knees talking to myself. Take that as you will.

But most of all, I guess I'm self-centred. Which is why I post this garbage. I care enough about what I have to say to say it in a public forum. Astounding.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone.

Futility.

2009-01-29T20:53:00.002-06:00

(In reference to last post)

Well, I almost made it 48 hours.

Incentive.

2009-01-28T18:09:00.004-06:00

So, I've recently gotten back into a bad habit of smoking too much. And as I stood outside last night, smoking my seventh and final cigarillo of the day, I figured it was probably a good time to quit, or at least take a more extended break from smoking.

The ironic thing is that this is the first post after customizing my blog with a sweet picture of me and 8 other of my CBC "chums" smoking pipes. A pretty great picture really.

I guess I just struggle with why I should quit smoking. I mean, what is my reason? You'd think that not dying of lung cancer eventually would be reason enough, but for some reason, millions of people still pay billions upon billions of dollars to smoke. And I think in some ways, that's great. An exercise of free will, and freedom to choose. But it seems as though people generally need a bigger reason than their own health to stop smoking. Generally speaking at least.

But here's to quitting. It might make things easier if someone would bet me like $20.00 that I couldn't go til the end of February without smoking, or something. But let's face it, who cares that much?

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a thousand times."
-Mark Twain

Not Mark's title/some ideas for later.

2009-01-28T01:26:00.004-06:00

I don't have much to say in this post. I guess I just feel like I should keep this thing updated semi-regularly (i.e. every few days or so). I figure if more than one person has been so kind as to link their blog to mine, perhaps I owe them something, such as a new post every now and then. I've noticed my sentiment is not always shared. Just saying.

I actually have quite a few ideas rattling around in this head of mine. I'm sure I'll get around to posting them sooner or later. Until then, I'll just list the main premises off in point form. I could do this on a piece of paper in my room just as easily, but like I said, I have not much else to say. And it is my blog after all.

Ideas:
-a post about what it means to "be real"
-a post about the importance (as well as risks in overstating) academic biblical study
-a post entitled "My City is Still Breathing Part 3" i.e. another post about the concept of "God's will"
-a post about the concept of "the one" in regards to relationships, destiny, etc.

I bet you're just dying to hear my thoughts on all these things. Are you uncomfortable? Are you saying to yourself "whoa Rob, you probably shouldn't write about that; it's not something you should share on a public forum such as a blog,"?

Probably not. But if you were, that's too bad. Because it's a blog, and I can say whatever I want. Hence my blog's title "...because legitimate journalism is too hard..." In the world of illegitimate journalism, anything goes, as far as I'm concerned.

Another post about this city I love.

2009-01-25T01:50:00.002-06:00

Lately, there have been a lot of thoughts crossing my mind in regards to the "certainties" of life. I've found myself questioning those things that seem so certain, so assured. My ideas of security and stability have been rocked in some ways through recent events, and I've found myself wondering if anything can be viewed as certain.

However, as I stood outside in the cold winter air late this evening, I found myself, once again, in love with this city of Winnipeg in which I live.

There are many things in this life of mine (and ours) that are uncertain. There are many things that may not last, though we wish they would. But no matter which things may ultimately turn out to be temporary, no matter how impermanent they may end up being, I continue to love this city.

This city continues to stand. It's still around. It's imperfect, and in many ways hurting and calling for help, yet it's still here. It still provides me with a home, a security, something I know will always be around. Regardless of all the other uncertainties that are thrown my way in life, I feel as though I can count on this city to be around for me, and to be a place that I am proud and privleged to call home. This I know for certain.

Sideways.

2009-01-23T16:52:00.000-06:00

Lately, I've been struggling a lot with the concept of "hearing God" or "following God's call." I guess if you're a regular reader, you're probabably like "lately? Rob you struggle with that all the time. I was starting to wonder if you were even a Christian really."

.........

Maybe not though. But it's still a hard subject for me to come to grips with, mainly because I don't feel like I hear God. I can't tell where God is calling me, and I'm so skeptical of feeling-based living and decision making. There are so many factors that would have me call into question whether or not it was actually God's voice I was hearing. Chemical factors, pyschological factors, sociological factors. I'm more willing to give those credit than to say "I hear God calling me to....." I mostly feel this way because I don't trust my emotions. I don't trust the emotions of others. I hate irrationality and I don't want irrational behaviour to be justified in any way, most specifically that which we "feel" is God telling us to do something. Feelings of calling immediately justify everything that otherwise doesn't make sense.

However, perhaps a crack has developed in my thinking on this. Yesterday, I visited the faithful Movie Village looking for a new round of rentals. After finding two fairly quickly, I was stuck on what the third film would be. After wandering around the store like an idiot for about twenty-five minutes, I eventually settled on the movie Sideways with Paul Giamatti. I cannot say specifically why.

I watched it last night, and it was decent. Nothing too spectacular, at least, not until the very end. There was a conversation that took place (via voicemail) that seemed to speak into some things I've been thinking about a lot lately. I won't specify what they are exactly, but the overall message I heard was "patience."

Normally, I'd say "so what?" But something tells me it was more than that, if for no other reason than I really have no idea why I chose that movie yesterday. For whatever reason, I just kept seeing that particular movie on display, and eventually picked it. No reason. None of the factors I've listed above seem to explain why Sideways was the third choice in my Movie Village trio, but for some reason it was.

I wonder if in some way perhaps "the movie chose me." That might be overstepping it a little bit, but I wonder. Is it possible that God speaks through a random movie selection? I can't say for certain. But it's made me rethink my posture on "hearing God" in a pretty decent way. Perhaps God is more actively speaking to me than I would have otherwise realized. Thoughts?

Afterthoughts.

2009-01-19T22:40:00.003-06:00

I'll admit, my last entry was a little frantic. I was in a shaken up state of mind at the time, and it probably came through in my writing. I've since calmed down.

However, I'm a little uneasy at the fact that it's only taken a few days for me to re-adopt my all too comfortable "whatever" posture. I guess I'm just a little wary of the fact that since nothing ultimately happened, there's no real need for change.

And, I guess I don't really know what the solution is either, if there is one. I mean, I guess we can just go about the days living as normally as possible, hoping things will be alright. I'm definitely not suggesting we should adopt a posture of fear or paranoia and start taking preemptive measures against "potential threats."

Because that seems to have really worked well in the past. Especially on an international scale for instance. Just saying.

No, I'm not saying that. I guess it just makes me a little bit sad that we seemingly have to be a reactionary people, our actions dependent on what others do ahead of us. I guess I don't like giving up control like that. And I really don't like that I have no better, working alternative. It's frustrating.

Good Lord Almighty.

2009-01-17T00:50:00.002-06:00

I guess sometimes you never know how literally you may have just "dodged a bullet."

Tonight, as I was set to watch the newest Clint Eastwood movie Gran Torino, a film about an old bad-ass, racism, and gang-related gun violence, my buddy received a disturbing text message in the theatre. Apparently, two 17-year-olds who had stolen a bunch of guns were foiled by Winnipeg police before their plan to shoot up three schools and a church was carried out.

I happen to be pretty good friends with a guy who goes to that particular church. And as I was set to enjoy a solid Clint Eastwood film, filled with all the Hollywood tension and drama and kick-ass shoot-em-up gun violence that I otherwise find entertaining, I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach. This is so profoundly fucked up, it's unreal. Why is this the way things are? What overtakes any person at all to the point where this seems like the right thing to do? Better yet, what is so fucked up about people, about this world, where people can't see that this is the wrong thing to do?

Good Lord Almighty. This is yet another reason why we pray for the Kingdom to come. There is something so unbelievably fallen about this. It just can't be right. This is not the way things should be. God be with us, continue to keep watch over us. Please.

Dysfunction.

2009-01-15T13:28:00.002-06:00

So I think I jerked it too hard, because now it won't stay up.

.......that is to say, I think the e-brake on my car is broken. Why, what were you thinking?

"Ridiculous."

2009-01-15T03:15:00.002-06:00

"You know, it's the lack of respect that hurts the most. Well, except for the other thing. But the lack of respect, that hurts the second-most."
-Mitch Weaver

1989 Panda Exhibit...

2009-01-09T19:05:00.004-06:00

I have a problem that most people probably wish they had. I remember everything. Well, not everything, but a great many things, even the most insignificant of details. I remember dates really well, and certain things I see or hear or touch or smell or taste remind me of certain times, certain experiences.

My first memory ever comes from the 1989 Panda Bear exhibit at the Assiniboine Park Zoo in Winnipeg. I was probably just over a year old at the time. I know, you're probably like "there's no way you can remember that, Rob," but I'm pretty sure I do. There's certain details I describe to my mom, and they seem to check out correctly to with what happened that day 19 years ago.

There wasn't much point to that story. However, I find myself in a state of retrospect, of remembering a great many things these days. I find life moving forward, and me becoming more comfortable in moving forward with it, yet I can't help but look back, to remember vividly, to be moved by nostalgia. I remember things, good things, too well. And I miss them.

I guess I should stop typing before I start getting all detailed and actually say what I'm thinking. I guess I should probably put some sort of cryptic spin on this that leaves the reader guessing as to what I'm talking about. I guess I should just fall in line and bottle up. And, I should probably stop being such an asshole about it.

I can't really think of a way to end this properly. Sometimes I guess I just hate that I seem to remember everything, and that so many things are tied to memories, particularly good ones. Such a nuisance this uncanny memory of mine can be...

"And now ya give up control..."

2009-01-04T21:01:00.007-06:00

"...and now ya do what he tells ya."
-Dave de la Rae

Warning: This post will go on for too long.

I was talking with a good friend of mine recently. She told me that in the last little while, things have really started coming together for her, and that she's started to trust God with all things, and leave her life open completely to his calling/direction. She seems to be doing very well. And I am happy for her.

However, I can't help but feel some sense of nervousness to the sort of thinking that places God as the absolute master, and that we have no control whatsoever for ourselves. I'll explain what I mean by this, as I imagine some of your eyebrows are already starting to raise.

My concern is no doubt a subjective one. Personally, I struggle with "giving up control" or "placing my life in God's hands alone" or "making God's plan the ONLY plan." But I believe my difficulty with this comes from an understanding of what God has given us as human beings, namely the qualities that make us differentially human.

We are not animals. We can do more than follow our instincts. We have some degree of control over ourselves, our lives. We have been given gifts and attributes and characteristics that set us apart from all other creatures on this earth.

We can reason. We can think rationally. We can think critically. We can ask questions. We can make decisions. We have God-given free will!!! We are special beings. Don't forget that.

I agree that God should undoubtedly be the central guiding factor in how we live our lives. I think to take God out of our thinking, reasoning, and decision-making process would be unwise and profoundly arrogant. However, I can't help but feel that there is an almost equally great danger in supposing that we have no control, or that we should have no control when it comes to managing our lives. This is not to say that we ultimately control our lives, but rather that we have the ability to choose. We have control over ourselves and can decide (or decide not to) love and serve God. Finding the balance between ultimate control and no control is tricky, and often we feel like we should stick with the safe extreme.

I understand that there are different ways in which we interact with God, and maybe some people legitimately and authentically hear God's calling and follow him there. I however, do not receive such explicit direction. Yet I continue to act, I continue to move, I continue to live life and serve God in the best ways I can figure.

God, like any good parent, will hold his child's hand for as long as they need it. And he will (hopefully) hold their heart forever. But I have to think that to some extent, God desires us to make decisions on our own, and wants us to choose him, though the decision is still in the end up to us.

Now, I realize that I'm being theologically minimal here, and there's a good deal of clarification that should probably go along with what I just said, but this post has gone on for too long. I'll say that though free will is an incredible gift of God, it does not equal the free and ultimate gift of grace and salvation. This is the greatest gift of God, which we can choose to respond to, though we are ultimately still dependent on God for extending that grace.

Though we depend (rightfully so) on God for direction, we choose and we have choice. There is some degree of responsibility placed on us to make our own choices, and to look to ourselves (to some extent) in acting. To place every direction solely on God seems to deny ourselves as the choosing, free individuals that God has made us. This, to me, seems faulty.

While God guides, he does not manipulate. We make our own decisions. YOU ARE NOT A PUPPET. You have free will. Use it.

So this is the New Year.

2009-01-01T13:52:00.005-06:00

I meant to write this last night, before the New Year came, but seeing as my computer has recently decided to stop working, and thus am forced to borrow my roommate's in order to post blogs, I guess I didn't really have time until just now.

Last night I rang in the New Year in a way I definitely had not intended. I worked an overnight shift at the psychiatric ward at Health Sciences Centre, watching a nice old man who had some form of Alzheimer's, or dementia or something. It was a quiet night, not much to report.

At the end of November, I wrote a blog vaguely talking about the things I was excited for in December. Well, as is probably exhaustively clear by now, a good many of those things never happened. They never happened the way I had intended, and December, normally my favourite month of the year, turned into a month that I am glad is now over.

I guess the point of what I'm trying to say here is that I've realized painfully that things don't always go the way I intend. There's stuff that you bank on, and assume that it will go as planned (and to some degree I'd say that you have to do that), but for whatever reason sometimes, it doesn't. Life throws you a fuckball on occasion, and I guess we all have to do our best to move ahead.

So, here's to a better 2009, starting on this first day of January. Not to say that 2008 was a bad one, because it definitely had its great points. But there's always room to make things better. Happy New Year all.

Robocop returns.

2008-12-29T15:25:00.003-06:00

That's right. Cue the ass-kicking music, bitches.

After a 6 month hiatus, Rob is attempting to keep his 100% stabbing free status intact. His first test comes tonight from his old stomping grounds: The Burrows.

Good Lord, what have I done...

And so this is Christmas...

2008-12-25T21:12:00.004-06:00

Christmas Day is not a day for blogging. It's a day for being with family and friends, enjoying food, festivities, gifts, but mostly, each other's company. It is a day for remembering the birth of Christ. That being said, I find myself alone in my empty house, adding what's sure to be another entry in the "useless" category of my blogging "career."

I am reminded today of the wonderful family that I am so incredibly blessed in having. I am reminded by the loving and playful embraces of nephews and nieces that I am loved. I matter to people. It's not something I take for granted; I am fully aware of this at all times, today is another confirmation of that.

For some pretty specific reasons however, I find this Christmas hard. It just hasn't had that same yuletide joyousness that other years have brought. I find myself still wishing, recovering, and most unfortunately, blogging about it.

It has been a month to forget, so to speak. This is typically my favourite time of the year, but this year I can't help but be distracted, dismayed and down. Sweet alliteration. It hasn't felt the same in many ways. I haven't done many of the things I would normally be doing with my break (reading, decorating trees, etc), and I find myself in struggle with the season. I find myself encountering a difficulty with moving ahead with everyday life, getting into a more familiar, comfortable routine.

But this is not a day for blogging. This is indeed a day of celebration. Christ is born today, and it is because of this that I must press on, and try my best to remember that this day is not about me feeling sorry for myself. It is about family and friends, which I have been reminded of greatly already, and above all the coming of Christ Jesus. God, remind me of this.

Living the dream.

2008-12-23T14:42:00.002-06:00

Today I did what was maybe the most derelict thing I've ever done in my whole life. I had nothing else to do this afternoon, and was tired of sitting around my empty house. So, I went for a swim. That's right. I packed up my swimmy trunks, got into my car and drove down the street to the Pan-Am pool. By myself. And it was glorious.

Losing my quarter in the lockers, the pre-pool mandatory shower, jumping off the diving boards. All a good time. I gotta say, the pool is pretty sweet.

I guess I don't have too much to say. I never intended on spending this day going for a random afternoon swim by myself. Still, it was a relaxing time and a pretty decent use of a few bucks. I recommend giving it a try sometime.

I told my buddy Mike about this already, and I think it blew his mind. In his words:

"That sounds like something a retarded old man would do!"

Well Mike, maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But it's definitely something Rob Horsley would do.

Read past the first line...

2008-12-20T00:40:00.004-06:00

Man, being a Christian really fucks you up doesn't it? I don't mean to say that in a really abrasive (though it most likely is) or negative way, but seriously.....right?

We of the faith think about things much differently than those who don't cling to our chosen set of beliefs. In some ways, I wish I could think about things from a secular perspective. I really wish I could just divorce the idea of God out of the way I think, the way I act, the way I interact with people, the way I live my life in general. Sometimes anyway.

There's been lots of times I've tried to convince myself, "there's no God," or "God is just something I'll grow out of, like belief in Santa Claus." But I can't. I've tried to wrestle myself away from God, but I can't. As C.S. Lewis once said, I simply "cannot resist" the idea and, more importantly, the very real personhood of God. I cannot deny him.

I'm a person of logic. I love the practice of thinking philosophically, of making sense of things, analyzing arguments and weighing them to determine what makes the most sense, and thereby appears to be true. And I truly think that the ability to do this is one of God's greatest gifts he has given us.

However, there comes a point where logic must be defied. It logically makes no sense to forgive people who hurt us, who treat us unfairly, etc. It does not follow that we extend grace to these people and look past what they do to us. Yet, it's what we are called to. Biblically. And that, I think at least, takes precedent over what we can logically make sense of. Hence my earlier statement about how being a Christian can (and often does) "fuck you up."

I really shouldn't curse as much as I do. I can't justify it. But I think it'll get the point across.

This post has gone too long already. Once again, I am at odds with myself. Right now, in my heart, it feels so much better to be bitter, to not forgive, to hate. And I haven't completely pushed those feelings aside yet. But I know, in the back of my head, that I must forgive. I must extend grace. I must love. I can't explain why, other than because "the Bible tells me so." It makes no sense, yet it's what I am called to. God, give me strength to do this.